Sunday, December 21, 2008
1. I hate Christmas music
Christmas music makes me want to hide my head in the sand. I cannot stand it. It is so corny. Christmas music is too mushy and happy-go-lucky I just cannot do it. It seems, however, that my friends do not take my dislike of Christmas music seriously. Every year someone sends me a music if Christmas music. I do not throw gifts away so all it does is sits in my desk and collects dust.
2. The Christmas Tree
Who the hell wants a fire hazard sitting in their living room. Throw in the messy needles and I am not a fan of this at all.
3. Gift Giving
This is the mot stressful part of the whole thing. First, there is the stress of buying or making something that someone will actually appreciate. You have to make sure the gift is something they like. Then, you have the actual going to the stores to get the gift. Long lines, cranky people, dreadful weather; its not for me. I hate doing it. Yet, every year I drag my ass out to get gifts because of the societal pressure by friends/family/girlfriend to participate.
4. The Snow
Another reason I hate Christmas: it never snows on Christmas in Baltimore. Just once in my life I would like to wake up and there be white stuff on the ground. I never got one of those traditional snowy Christmas. I have been deprived of the best childhood pleasure. Damn Baltimore!!
Monday, December 15, 2008
The gym I (rarely) attend hosted a holiday party (No, Sheila Dixon was not there. Read the last post to understand). It was crazy fun! Here are two reasons: free alcohol, free food. Any place that has those two things, I AM THERE!! So this woman hits on me the moment I walk in the building. She goes, "You are looking sexy tonight. Purple is definitely your color". I just smile, say thank you, and keep it moving.
All night I was on the dance floor. My coworkers are not much for dancing but I was getting my groove in. I found me several attractive women to dance with. I do not know how many times I electric slided my partially drunk behind across the floor. My (white) coworkers just watched from the side until they became drunk enough to feel comfortable. I danced my night away. It was really fun.
I have no photos. My camera batteries died and I forgot to charge them.
Friday night was quiet. I spent it talking to the gf on the phone. We talked for like 4 hours. It was because we do not do that often. I get up too early during the week to stay on the phone forever. I really enjoyed that time with her.
Saturday my friend D, several coworkers hit the town. We hung out at a bar near Hopkins. I sang some karaoke. Then we went to a place called the 13th Floor. It is a club on 13th floor of a hotel called the Belvedere. On Saturdays they have a live salsa band. It was nice. I also salsed my way across the floor. The next time the gf is here, I am going to take her there. It is really nice. There is a great view of the city, The drinks are a little expensive, so before I take the gf, we will just pregame elsewhere.
Sunday, I went and played basketball. I had to get some exercise in. I do need to lose a little weight. The doctor told me to start exercising a little more. To be honest, I have been slacking. It is really hard to incorporate exercise in my daily routine. I come home from work exhausted and not feeling like doing anything. That gives me a hige excuse. But starting today, i am going to try and hit the gym at least 2 times a week. I am going to start off small. I may also do push-ups and sit-ups at home in the morning. I will update you on that one
Thursday, December 11, 2008
Tonight is the holiday party at my gym. I have a membership at the Merritt Downtown Athletic Club provided to me for free by my school. Its a very chic gym. Our fine mayor, Sheila Dixon works out there. If given the opportunity, I would kick her in the vag. This woman would sell Tuesday in order to get a fur coat.... anyways. They have a holiday party every year and it is open bar and free for all members. I am going to go and sneak into the VIP section.
Why you may ask.
I AM GETTING ARAB MONEY!!!
*Throat chop brought to you in part by Humanity Critic*
Tuesday, December 09, 2008
To see if I still feel
I focus on the pain
The only thing that's real
The needle tears a hole
The old familiar sting
Try to kill it all away
But I remember everything
What have I become
My sweetest friend
Everyone I know goes away
In the end
And you could have it all
My empire of dirt
I will let you down
I will make you hurt
I wear this crown of thorns
Upon my liar's chair
Full of broken thoughts
I cannot repair
Beneath the stains of time
The feelings disappear
You are someone else
I am still right here
Johnny Cash - Hurt
Her cheating hurts me. I am working to deal with it emotionally. Here is how
- I try to limit myself to thinking about it for 10 minutes a day. I let myself get upset and pissed for 10 minutes and then try to move on. Is it easy? No. Do I go over my alotted minutes Yes. But I try not to let her dishonesty be what I focus on when I deal with our relationship.
- When I am feeling bad, I do not call her. There are moments when talking to her reminds of what happens. It does not occur every time we talk. However, when it does occur, I will get off the phone. Then I give myself some time to think, meditate, and relax. There are just moments when I do not need to hear from her.
- Whenever we talk about what happen, I only talk about it when I am in a good mood. I will not whenever I have a dark moment. This helps me be logical and reasonable. Talking about this when I am pissed will make me fittin' to kill some body.
Sunday, December 07, 2008
Steal some covers share some skin
Clouds are shrouding us in moments unforgettable
You twist to fit the mold that I am in
But things just get so crazy living life gets hard to do
And I would gladly hit the road get up and go if I knew
That someday it would lead me back to you
That someday it would lead me back to you
Maroon 5 - Sunday Morning
This morning is a good one. I have my oatmeal and yogurt for breakfast. It is warm in my apartment. I have no errands to run. Today is my sit down day. I am loving it.
Enjoy your Sunday everyone!
Sunday, November 23, 2008
You cheated on me. You committed the most heinous act that one could commit in a relationship: you had an affair with another man. And at this moment, I feel a pain inside that I never thought you would cause. I feel hurt because I would do my damnedest to never do such a thing to you. I feel betrayed. You straight up lied to me. When asked if being around him would be a problem, you told me nothing was wrong. You told me never to worry about this person. But it was all a lie. How could you do that to me? We had plans of you moving in my place with me. We were going to create a life together. Maybe not married, but our relationship was suppose to grow deeper and move onto a path where we could consider that type of future. Yet, you put that all in danger. Just for a few moments for reasons you never made clear, you threw it away
I have done my part. I stayed faithful through many drunk nights at the bar. I stayed faithful through having an ex throw herself at me. I have stayed faithful living alone and knowing that I could cheat and you would never find out. Because when I became your man, I made a vow. I promised you I would never go out of my way to hurt you. I have held true. My faith in you and love for you have never wavered.
And through all of this, I want to be with you. When you told me what you did, all I could think about is how to make it better. There has to be a way to make our relationship stronger I thought. I truly believe, even in my moment of pain, that I love you and want to be you.
In order for this to work, you must teach me to trust you again. Make me believe in you. Make me believe that you believe in us. I need to be able to trust you. Right now, you have planted doubt in me. When I hear you say "I love you", a voice in my head questions it. Whenever you send me a text message saying you are thinking of me, I wonder if its true.
I am moving to forgive you. Love is forgiving; it does not hold grudges. In time, I will heal. But you must get me to trust you again. You must.
Tuesday, November 04, 2008
We have no excuse.
We now have no excuse. We have no excuse for not reaching our potential. Now, Barack Obama's election does not mean that racism and prejudice has ceased to exist. But what it does mean is that DESPITE racism and prejudice we can achieve anything we set our minds to. Black people have demonstrated, through Barack Obama, that there is no power on this planet that can keep us down. Racism and prejudice only has the power to suppress us if we allow it.
We have no excuse
Now it is time for us to step up. We must not only continue to attack and fight injustice. We must look within ourselves and see if we are doing our best everyday. Barack has demonstrated that we have overcame a lot. Just 43 years ago, Blacks could not vote. Blacks had to eat separately from whites. We had to sit in the back. Look at a white person the wrong way, that could be the last look you make. Just 43 years ago.
We have no excuse
Last night we have demonstrated that in 43 years, we can go from having no rights to being the leader of the free world. We are a resilient people. We are strong in heart and spirit. Now, we must fulfill our potential. We must inhabit the greatness that has been demonstrated last night.
We have no excuse
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
My faith is a very personal experience. It is not something that I express openly. I often do not go to church (I am very disillusioned because of the experiences I have had). However when I do go on the rare occasion, I often spend the service with my head bowed, praying on my own and ignoring the sermon. I do not feel the Holy Spirit in some of the ways that others do. I do not shout or spazz. When I do feel it, it is more of a calm call that God has put in my heart. It is often a call that moves me to improve my relationship with my fellow man. There is a drive or impetus that moves me to do something. The Holy Spirit is a call to action
I also do not talk about what I pray for when I pray. That is a private conversation that I have. Even when I pray it is a private occasion. I do not recite any words. I say whatever I have to say in my heart. It is never something that I write or share.
With others, I talk about faith. However, it is in different terms. It is always related to how I view religion's purpose in modern times. I always discuss how I view the relationship between religion, spirituality, and science. No one asks me the deeper questions about my faith. But I feel I do not need to make a public declaration. I guess because that relationship between God and me is always evolving. So explaining it would be hard.
But surprise surprise, I am a spiritual person.
Friday, October 17, 2008
I stare at the student who told me this. In my mind, I am hoping he is not thinking what I think he is thinking.
"My mom is also single. You should ask her out on a date. You are a nice guy and my mom likes nice guys"
I do not respond at all. I do not even know how to respond. I am flattered that the kids think that I am a good person. I know many of them look up to me. Often, they imitate me. Many of them have picked up my morning ritual of drinking tea in the morning.
However, me boning their mother will not get them an A. Not at all. I also like my job enough that I do not want to get fired for boning a parent. Many of the parents are sexy and some have even made a few passes. All I do when the parents do that is just smile.
" Magister is going to break that back! Hahahahaha! Magister is going to be your step daddy! He is going to be walking around your house naked drinking tea and eatiing pop tarts!" one 7th grade student yells. The entire 7th grade erupts. Many of the students make thrusting motions. Pandemonium ensues. It takes a few minutes for me to get them quiet.
"Thank you for the offer but I am going to have to say no. I think that would be in appropriate." It is all I can think of to say.
"I am going to tell my mom to come see you."
*magister is Latin for teacher
Sunday, October 05, 2008
1. I am always right
This I hear from my best friend Cnel. He says that I know everything and that I believe I am always right. We had a debate about some issues recently (He is more conservative than I am. He is Bill Cosby to my Huey Newton) and he brought that point up. I disagreed but in my heart of heart I know its true. However, I do believe it has gotten better the more mature I have gotten.
2. I am stubborn
This goes right along with the first one. If someone tries to force me to do something, I will do the total opposite, just to be an ass. It is not one of my nicer qualities at all. I have frustrated many a girlfriend with that. One specific ex still talks about it. This is something that has vastly improved with the current girlfriend. She said so the last time I talked to her :-)
Women, praise your men. When they do something or improve on a bad habit, praise them. We really like feeling as if our efforts are appreciated. It makes us continue to improve when we see that you notice those changes.
3. I have trust issues with women
I have no clue why this is so. I cannot recall a woman who has done something terribly dishonest to me. I have not been cheated on (as far as I know). Yet, there are times when I find myself doubting the fidelity of the person I am with. My girlfriend nor any girlfriend I have had has ever done anything suspicious. But in the back of my mind, a thought will pop up. A little seed of doubt. It may only show for a second yet I feel bad when it comes up. I do not start checking email accounts or anything.
4. I am not athletically-gifted at all
I have played sports since middle school. I love sports and enjoyed playing them. Yet never has anyone called me athletically-gifted. As much as I try to talk a good game about my physical prowess on any playing field or in a ring, I am not gifted at all. I get by on effort and hustle when it comes to athletics. The only sport I have done where I could even remotely be honest and call myself gifted is boxing. I had good footwork, quick hands and could take a punch. Other than that, I have been fronting my whole life.
5. I may never grow a full face of hair
I truly what to have a beard. I really do. But as of now, I cannot grow one. There are kids in high school who grow more facial hair than me! So sad. No one wonder the parents of my students confuse me with other students.
Wednesday, October 01, 2008
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
I am happy.
I am happy with my life at this point. This is for several reasons. First, I am in good health. I have no major health issues. My mind is working properly. Secondly, I have great friends and family. Those people always support me. They check me when I am wrong, celebrate when I am right. I support them to the best of my ability and they do the same for me. Third, I love my job. It is great. I come home tired many days but I am happy. The students I teach are passionate about what they are learning. The guys keep me on my toes. My faculty is very supportive of me being new. They give me tips all of the time.
Things are great and I cannot complain. Being 21 and happy is rare. I am going to enjoy it.
Saturday, September 13, 2008
For soldiers and troops away with helmets and boots
And families back home who pray they make it home safe
Hopin' that they don't get hit with a stray or missiles
This is just a moment to let you all know that we miss you
Mommy I'm still here, wishin' I was there with you
Let's take a moment
As day comes and night falls
For the rest of our life we'll miss y'all
And even though life must go on, we'll still mourn
While wishin' y'all were home
Nas - Just A Moment
I reflect about the lesson that September 11th taught me. This is the lesson:
We must stay vigilant
We must stay vigilant. On Sept. 11th, we were caught sleeping. Your average citizen never even had a premonition about a tragedy as close as devastating as this. No one in government expected this to happen. There were no preparations made in case of a situation like this. That is unacceptable.
But as citizens, we must be vigilant. What does this entail? This means that we must watch over our government. We must hold them accountable for their actions, or lack thereof. As citizens, our right to vote can be used as the greatest checks and balance in our government. In the end, we can force, cajole, and convince government officials to change their governing behavior.
But this requires a lot on our part. It requires that we educate ourselves on how our government works. We need to know how it functions in order to participate effectively. We also need to educate ourselves on what our congressmen, state congressman, mayors, governors, etc believe in. The easiest way to do this: look at how the govern, not what they say. Look at how your city council votes. Know that your US Senator voted for or against an updated GI Bill. Know if he only voted present or actually placed a real yes or no vote. The public has done itself a disservice by not being educated. How can we hold people accountable if we dont even know what they doing??
Secondly, we must vote! We must vote! WE MUST VOTE! This is how we let the government know we are vigilant. The only way they keep doing what the people ask is when they know the people are watching. You must actively participate in order to see the change you want. And the easiest way to do this is to vote.
Sept 11th has shown us the need to be vigilant. Our government must be able to provide our security without removing our freedoms (that's even if we have those). And our citizenry must stay awake, must be watching in order to guarantee that this happen. I am vigilant, watching my government. I will hold it accountable for the mistakes it makes by using my way of balancing the power:voting. Never again will it find me asleep. I hope that goes the same for you.
Tuesday, September 09, 2008
But to be honest, I suck at it. Lets keep it real. I am good at keeping the kids excited and interested. They love my class. They like me. They run around speaking in Latin all day. Yet I need to work on my organization. I have not had this 3rd week planned out as well so I have been winging it and will continue to do so for this week. This weekend I am grinding and planning my next 2 weeks. This way I can get it together. Its really my fault and I was not up on it. Now my principal will be in my class Thursday. Thus, I am going to have to be at my best. He expects there to be some mistakes but I dont want to look like a screw up.
My sleep has been shitty For the past 3 days. Monday I slept for only 3 hours. I cannot explain it. This cannot keep happening. My job requires that I sleep well. I need to be able to keep up with the kids. I am going to go to bed earlier than I normally do and see if that helps.
Now that I reread this, this entry is quite negative. Maybe I will have better news later this week.
Monday, September 01, 2008
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
Things are good with the gf. I visited her for a week in her hometown. The visit overall went well. I had an issue with the mother. She was rude to me. But her mother shaped up and things worked themselves out. I miss the girlfriend I cannot wait to see her again.
My first day of school was today!! It went well. I over planned for it all but all went well. The kids like me. I did not have a heart attack. I cannot wait to do it again tomorrow. Life is good.
However, I need to work on making it to meetings on time. I still struggle with that.
One of the moms hollered at me on the low at orientation. She snuck and got my number. She asked me to tutor her son. But she played it as she wanted me to but did not want to disturb or take up my time. I was polite and said it would not take up any time at all. Then she whipped out her pen and took down my number. The woman gave me a hug and switched really hard as she walked away. It was at that moment I realized she got me. I hope she loses my number and does not call.
Other random bits:
- The apartment is starting to look nice. I will have to put some pictures up.
- I cannot get this T-Pain song out of my head, "Can't Believe It" I hum it even in class.
- I need to get my damn license. The school asked about it and I need to get that ish together.
- My external hard drive broke and I am about to have a heart attack. I need my pictures!!
Wednesday, August 06, 2008
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
Are there any bloggers who own their own business?? Do you know of any. If you do, please let me know in the comments section.
I was reading blogs today and that thought just struck me. I am pretty sure that there plenty of blogger entrepreneurs. I am just curious to see what people are doing.
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
I did realize something: I cannot live with a female. I cannot do it. I can do a roommate but not a girlfriend. It is just too close. That is someone in my space, my personal "bubble". As much as I love the gf, when she graduates and decides where to move, I hope she does not want to move in. I would love for her to be in Baltimore, but not living in my apartment. Thats too close. I do not like to share my space.
This week made me realize it. There was not specific event or anything, I just do not think I am at that point. I may just be one of those people who does not do well sharing with others. Or, I may not be at a place where I can completely open up to someone. My maturity level is not there yet. My gf knows a vague sketch of my life but very little details. I guess having her here made me realize that I still have some character issues to work out. I have to get better with sharing. It is sad that I share with strangers better than girlfriends...
I know what it is: investment. I find it easier to share with strangers because there is no emotional investment. I have not invested any love and care when I give to tot. Yet, with gf, there is a lot of investment. I got with her at a time when I let go of a lot pussy. I invested in her when I knew I was graduating and leaving school. I asked her out 3 times and she made me wait. I am trying to make it work. And her visit has shown me that with all that investment, I am scared to be hurt. I am still vulnerable. My feelings can be hurt. I can give to her and get hurt if she does not share or feel the same way. So I guess her being here put me on the defensive (It does not help that my mother mentions her and loves and adores her). Her being here made me feel like she was encroaching on my space.
To be honest, I know it does not make sense. All I know is her being her and us kind of discussing the future scared the shit out me.
Friday, July 11, 2008
I am really enjoying teaching. This is great. My boys are enthusiastic about learning. They participate whenever it is possible. I am loving it. That does not mean they are perfect, but it could be worse.
Teaching math is not as bad as I thought it would be (Over the summer I teach math, during the year Latin). I really struggled with math as a student. Yet, I find it easy to teach. I teach the kids to go slowly and methodically. That way they do not make as many mistakes.
That is going surprisingly well. The distance has not been too much of a problem. I miss my girlfriend but the normal issues that come up with long distance have not reared their ugly head. I know they may eventually come up but all is well. The big problem is that I do not like sleeping by myself. I really dont. I guess I will have to get used to it.
Plus she is coming to visit for a week on Tuesday!! I am sooooooooooooo happy!!! I miss my lady. Plus, now that I have my own place, she can see it and stay here! I may have to put a "DO NOT DISTURB" sign on my apartment door. But Artscape is happening while she is here. So we will have a good time.
My younger brother is getting his act together. He moved back into the house, found a GED program, and is now looking for work. All this in one week. He left because he could not respect my mother;s house. So he had to go. He stayed with a friend and HATED it. He practically begged to come home. I guess being on his own taught him a lesson: Get your shit together. We all learn at different speeds but eventually we learn
Tuesday, July 01, 2008
- "Just remember that you know more than they do" - advice from a coworker
- Structure is important for the kids. They really want and need it.
- The mothers will flirt. Just say hi and smile
- The kids think that I am older than I am.
- They still attempt to treat me like I am a sibling
- Kids actually believe in you.
"The most important lesson I learned today was that leaving your hands in your pocket when dealing with police will get you shot" - one of my students talking to his classmate during lunch about my class
Monday, June 16, 2008
Here is the larger room in the studio apartment.
It is my living/bedroom. Ima hook it up.
This is going to be the mini-dining room in my apartment.
This is the kitchen.
This is my bathroom. I keep it basic.
I really like the apartment. I do. What I like the most is that it is mine. If you want to visit, let me know. Guest are appreciated!!
The only problem I have is that the ceiling is too high. I cannot put the stripper pole up. I guess I will have to build a stage for it.
Sunday, June 08, 2008
I just wanted to share something with you all. I woke up today and saw that I received a text message. It was a message from my girlfriend. She had sent it around 8am. Here is what it said:
" Good morning sweetheart. There is a heat advisory in your area. Its gonna be 100 degrees in Bmore so be careful. Love you have a great day."
That message made me smile. It was so thoughtful of her. She actually took the time too look up the weather and send me a message. I never asked her to do it or anything. She just cares that much. It may not seem like much, but it made reflect. I have a good woman on my side. I really do.
Tuesday, June 03, 2008
I have just been relaxing and enjoying the time before I start work. I start at the school on June 20th. They are sending me to a conference in Indianapolis I believe. I move into my apartment June 15th. I have just been taking the time I need to get my business in order. I have also been enjoying being young and a college graduate. It really does feel good to say I am a college graduate. Not to be cocky, but I walk around with my chest puffed out. I get a sense of pride when I think about what I have accomplished .
Yet now I look forward to what comes next. This is my first real job; like career type stuff. I am not even scared; just excited. Im ready for the next step.
Thursday, May 29, 2008
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
Yet I also wish it is not over.
First of all, I love the friends I have made there. From strip club trips to early morning Mario Kart sessions, it was all gravy. I can no longer wander across campus to see them. Life will be different without them at my finger tips. However, I hope them the best. They will be successful. I just want them to know that just because I don't see them often, it does not mean I love them any less.
Wednesday, May 07, 2008
Graduation is almost here. I have a bunch of friends that are coming up and I am excited!! The freedom train is on the way!
Congrats to Obama! He won N. Carolina by 14 percentage points. He barely lost Indiana but thats ok. I do believe Hillary should quit. Mathematically, there is no way she can win. Also, if she does get the nomination, it would tear the party apart. The perception would be that party leaders, not the people, chose the candidate. And we all know that perception is everything.
We essentially had show and tell for my Archaeological Theory class. We had to bring in a piece of material culture. Our discussion was about how things and humans interact. Objects are manifestations of ideas and relationships. My stripper pole represents a lot. This is what the professor said:
- My social status: It is very expensive and many people chipped in to buy it. It shows my ability to bring in resources, which is very high.
- It also represents in general, my friendship with these people.
- It represents a commercial transaction between men and women
- It also represents gender relations
- It is also represents a power relationship between women and men
- It also demonstrates how I relate to the opposite sex
- There was also a discussion on how the form and the pole itself gives meaning to the object
Sunday, May 04, 2008
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
I The first time I got them I was in the third grade. Now, at the age of 21, I have chickenpox. It turned out to be quite an adventure.
Sunday, I started to reak out. At first I thought it was just hives. They looked like what I thought hives should look like. So I took some prescription strength Zyrtek. I thought everything would be ok.
It did not turn out as good as I had hoped.
Last night at 11pm, the bumps were still itching. Plus I felt some dizziness and a headache. So I go into m bed and lay down. While laying the bed, I felt my face start to flush. I told the girlfriend and she got concerned. I took my temperature and it was at 100.6. She called her mom, who is a nurse. As we are talking to her mom, more bumps are forming. She says if anything get worse, go to the ER. We take my temperature at 11:30. 101.1
Trip to the hospital.
We go to St. Vincent at first. I get seen pretty quickly. This doctor was wack. He never even looked at my arm. I told him I had bumps and a fever. He said I had some allergy issues. So he prescribes Amoxicillan, Nasonex, and Prednisone. I was a little upset. I asked for a second opinion. He said he was pretty sure about his diagnosis. I roll-bounced out of there. I have allergies and they have never caused me to itch or get a fever. I also di dnot want to put my hands on anyone. I still had a fever and I was not thinking clearly at all. Plus the dude never looked at me. I was raging mad.
Thus, we head to Hamot Hospital. I takes FOREVER to get seen. I fell asleep before I got seen. This doctor however was cool. He took my temperature. Then he listened to me and asked me a bunch of questions. Next, he looked at my arm for like 5 minutes. He then looked at my leg where there were also bumps.
He stands up says, "This makes sense. You have chickenpox"
"You sure?" I asked. " I have already had chickenpox"
"Some people never develop immunity. The body never works 100% all the time."
I am relieved. I told him what happened at the other hospoital. He laughed and said if the other doctor would have just looked, it would have been a simple diagnosis. He told me to get some Benadryl and stay away from people.
So I but Calamine lotion, Aveeno oatmeal bath, and Twizzlers. Now I am in exile.
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
The rules are as follows:
* link to the person that tagged you : Charles
* post the rules on your blog
* share six non-important things/habits/quirks about yourself
* tag random people at the end of your post by linking to their blogs
* let each random person know that they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their blog
2. I hold grudges. It is something I should probably work on. When I hate someone, I truly do. It is hard to get off my shit list. Plus I am extremely vocal about it.
3. I play with my locks when I am bored. I sit in class and just play in my own hair. It gives me something to do while my professor rants about structuralism, Marxist archaeology, and the role that behavioral archaeology plays in social theory.
4. Scrabble is my favorite board game. I get really competitive about Scrabble. I have been know to throw tiles at people when upset. I have even stormed out of rooms. I cannot help it. I am uber-competitive about everything. Thats why I do not do sports. My college has horrible teams and I hate to lose.
5. I have to open the refrigerator when I walk in the door. It is a habit. I have done it since forever. I do it even when I am not hungry. I just have to look in the refrigerator.
6. Lately I have been having dreams about being abducted by the government and being tortured. I have no clue why. Maybe because I watch too many movies. Maybe I harbor a deep unconscious distrust of the government (or maybe it is conscious lol). If I disappear, you all know what happened
People I tagged: Brittany
Friday, April 18, 2008
- Barack's response was funny in this video
- I like my social ethics class. It can get preachy at times but it comes from a good place.
- I hate being at my girlfriend's place. Her roommates always got some drama. Thus, I stay away so I do not get involved.
- My new roommate is messy as fuck. I keep telling him to clean his shit up. I am about to resort to busting his head open.
- Erie is finally having some good weather. I need to work on this tan lol. Let me quit playing. But seriously, I just love this warm weather. It puts me in a good mood.
- I miss my television show House!! I have to buy season three on DVD.
- I am broke phi broke. Not hav ing money is killing me.
- One month until graduation!! I finally get my freedom paper!!
Wednesday, April 09, 2008
Sunday, April 06, 2008
Now in the past few weeks, my gut feeling was made real. There are two specific instances actually. The first had to do with her trip to Bosnia. She made the claim that she came under sniper fire as the plane landed. Once it was found out that her version of the story was not true, she said she misspoke. I find this difficult to swallow. How do you misspeak about being shot at. Being shot at is one of the experiences that you will always remember. I know people who have been shot and shot at. There is no mistaking gunfire. That is something that is seared into your memory. Yet she flat out lied. Not misspoke, not made a mistake. She lied. That is despicable. There are men and women who are shot everyday in Iraq and you want to lie about it. She should feel sick to her stomach.
The second episode happened recently. Hillary Clinton spoke at my college, Mercyhurst College. She came and told a story. This story was about a woman who was pregnant. The woman had some complications with her pregnancy. She had no health insurance so she could not get treatment. This woman tried several times to get treatment. It was not until she was brought in on an ambulance. She ended up dying due to the complications.
I find it sad that she has to lie. Hillary Clinton lied. People, do your research.
Monday, March 31, 2008
... Blogger would never go out or act difficult
... My blog crush would admit her undying affection for me. Then I would have to turn her down because I have a girlfriend. Or convince her and the girlfriend why i should be allowed to have them both. At the same time. Living with me.
... I would put a 2 week moratorium on Jameil talking about food lol
... La would be enlisted to be my blogging memoirist. She can write her ass off.
... Wise would see me everytime I return to Baltimore.
... All the sexy bloggers would live near me hahahaha!!!
... I would blog more often.
... I would not be afraid to let my real world friends read my blog.
... I would actually tell the girlfriend I have a blog.
... Cnel and I would do a blog together.
... I could speak my blog entries into existence as if I was God. It would go something like this:
"And Epsilonicus says 'LET THERE BE A BLOG ENTRY'. And the blog entry came into being. And Epsilonicus saw that it was good".
... I would interview Barack Obama and put the interview on my blog.
... Since Hillary Clinton is coming to my school tomorrow, I would interview her and put it on the blog also.
... I would get paid millions of dollars to do this!!!
Thursday, March 27, 2008
But seriously, I have to know what is going on in the world. I can't be without my information. It really is an essential part of my day.
I guess it could be worse. I could be addicted to sex, drugs, and hip-hop.
Oops. Too late on two of them.
Sunday, March 23, 2008
My building has some very attractive young women. This normally is not a problem but they are flirtatious. One came in my apartment while I was asleep and kissed me on my neck. This resident has a boyfriend who I am cool with I cannot have that. I better lock my door when I sleep. But yeah, these girls are wild. They answer the door half naked. They just strip whenever I am around. But I am cool. I can resist lol.
I have been bumping "Royalty" by Gangstarr. I get that throwback vibe from it. I wonder exactly how old that song is. I have also been listening to "Victory" By Notorious B.I.G. featuring Puffy and Busta Rhymes. That song gets me hyped. It motivates me to do some homework.
The girlfriend left me here to go home for Easter. So I have just been chilling. The roommates are gone so I have been eating butt-naked Cheerios lol!!
Hahahaa I am just kidding.
But it is good to have the place to myself. I like the quiet. I need it for sure.
Friday, March 21, 2008
I just love Toni Braxton. Short hair, long hair, it just did not matter. I used to have all of her albums. She was just was fine with that deep husky voice. The body of a goddess. She is sexy as all get out. Sadly, I would let a little bitchassness enter my soul if thats what it took to get a piece of Toni. I would drink her bath water, rub her feet. The things I could do to her now that I am legal...
Back to the topic on hand. I had her first album cover hanging on my wall for a long time. Plus she is from Maryland. I still tell people I am going to marry her. It would be good for her though. I am pretty good with money so I can get her taxes in order.
Sade has a voice from heaven and I was in love from the moment I first saw her. My attraction to Sade was not crazy sexual. I figured I would marry her, cook, clean, and treat her like a princess. I would be the best man she could ever even fathom to exist. Plus I want her to sing lullabies to me as I fall asleep. Or maybe while we are getting our freak on, she could sing "Sweetest Taboo". But I just felt like I would marry this woman and live happily ever after.
To keep it simple, Janet epitomizes sexy to me. I just get the feeling she is a freak and I am trying to find and explore her freakdom with her. I just think she is so sexy. I have had a crush since "Janet" album. That picture on that album cover was beautiful. Plus she could dance and all. She is fine up to today. Janet if you see this, lets explore our freakdom together lol.
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
I have robbed people.
What I mean by that is I have ran up one someone and took their money. I have done this twice. It happened during high school I think. The situation at home was dire. There was no money what so ever. Thus, twice me and a friend went downtown and robbed someone. I would only pick White males. I could not rob females because of my mom. Women remind me too much of my mother. I would not do people of color. I tried to justify my actions by only robbing White men. I was only successful once. I was not good at all. People ran too fast.
One night I was down at the Eutaw Street subway stop near Lexington Market in downtown Baltimore. A friend and I saw this guy walking down the street alone. We started to follow him. After two blocks, we told him to come hear. He got scared and ran.
We chased this guy for 5 blocks. He got loose on us. I just could not keep up. So he got away. I felt bad after that time and I never did it again. I really learned that I have too much of a conscience to lead a life of crime. I am just not built for it. Even to this day, I regret doing that. Never again have I even considered that course of action.
I am not built to be a criminal. So I took my ass to college.
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
My best friend brings her dog over pretty frequently. The rule on campus is that one should not have a dog that lives with you. But my friend will come and stay the weekend, thus the dog sometimes does too. Well, one of the girls across the hall sent me a Facebook. She said that it was not fair that I have a dog. Even though someone else owns it, the dog is here all he time.
So I go across the hall to approach her. I figure mature people talk face-to-face. So when I politely ask her to repeat her complaint, she said she had none. I asked her about the message, she basically avoided it.
If we are suppose to be growing into fully mature human beings, we should be able to state when we have a complaint. No one should only want to argue over the Internet. I refuse to answer that Facebook message. We live across the hall from each other. She should be able to come and talk to me. I am not rude (at least I try not to be). I will NOT let someone Internet harass me however. So she better woman up and talk face-to-face.
PS: I have deleted yesterday's blog entry. I re-read it this morning and found it to be highly immature. It was not something becoming a grown man. If this deletion poses a problem to you, you can email me and we can have a discussion about it.
Sunday, March 09, 2008
This Erie weather is crazy. We have gotten almost two feet this weekend. I feel like I am trapped in Siberia. I could not even go out because of all the snow. So I stayed in Friday night. Then it continured to snow all day and night Saturday. I died a little on the inside. Lol. But I stayed in too. I just did not have the emotional fortitude to brave all that snow ahahaha. Here are some pictures.
Wednesday, February 27, 2008
Finals were stressful as all get out. I had projects, take home finals, regular finals, and papers due in 3 days. I was stressed. I thought my hair would fall out I was so stressed. I almost cussed out my Hinduism professor. He had the nerve to try and restrict me going to the bathroom. Now never in the history of... cant use the word I wanted to use... college did I ever ask to use the restroom. He actually threw a fit. I sat there though. The Baltimore was about to come out of me and I was going to go Juggernaut on that ass. But I just kept taking my test. But I made it and came home Wednesday.
This break is exciting!! I have found a job!! I will be teaching at a small Catholic school named St. Ignatius Loyola Academy. I am soooooo I excited. It is a small private Catholic middle school for impoverished males in Baltimore. Cnel and I actually attended this school for our middle school years. This is where we met. But I am really glad to have found post-graduation work.
I have not really done anything fun this break. I just have been resting. I really really just needed to chill. So I have been hiding out in my house. It is what I do.
I also had to take care of some health issues. I sleepwalk, also known as non-REM parasomnia. It is serious. I have grabbed and punched my girlfriend in my sleep. I have found myself in the living room after falling asleep in my bedroom. I am not worried though; there is a simple solution. More sleep at an earlier time The sleep specialist told me that I need to get to sleep earlier. I cannot deprive myself of sleep at all. He was worried because I have had violent episodes. So I have to go back and secure my apartment. Keep cords off the middle of the floor, no sharp objects in reach, lock windows etc. The specialist said imagine a 2 year old with a 21 year old strength. If the change in my sleep pattern does not make it better, I have to take meds for it.
I am not worried at all. I did a sleep study which was fun. They hooked me up to these machines in a sleep lab last night. Then asked me some questions and I went to sleep. It was especially easy because I was tired. Then I woke up, they unhooked me, I took a shower, then left. It was easy peezy.
Other than that, my health is good, my life is good, I cannot complain. Talk to you all later.
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
Monday, February 18, 2008
Thursday, February 14, 2008
It is weird. I knew this would happen. The lucky young lady is someone I have been seeing since Texas(you can look for the entry yourselves. i feel lazy). We both went to field school together. That is where our innocent flirtation started.
I did not think we would ever get together. I asked her and she told me to wait. I was getting impatient and I was about to cut her off. We got into it about 2 weeks ago and I was about to drop her. I felt that she was taking too long. Come to find out she has been planning this for a month now. I am glad that I waited lol.
She kicked me out of my apartment for two hours. She fixed a nice dinner. So I came in and there were candles everywhere with the table set. Some nice wine was being served. We had dinner together. Then, we had dessert which was a chocolate mousse topped with raspberries. After dessert she handed me a box. In the box was the note asking me to be her boyfriend. It si what I wanted to I said yeah. So now I have a single leading lady. This may take some time getting used to this. It has been awhile...
Tuesday, February 05, 2008
It was a creed written into the founding documents that declared the destiny of a nation.
Yes we can.
It was whispered by slaves and abolitionists as they blazed a trail toward freedom.
Yes we can.
It was sung by immigrants as they struck out from distant shores and pioneers who pushed westward against an unforgiving wilderness.
Yes we can.
It was the call of workers who organized; women who reached for the ballots; a President who chose the moon as our new frontier; and a King who took us to the mountaintop and pointed the way to the Promised Land.
Yes we can to justice and equality.
Yes we can to opportunity and prosperity.
Yes we can heal this nation.
Yes we can repair this world.
Yes we can.
We know the battle ahead will be long, but always remember that no matter what obstacles stand in our way, nothing can stand in the way of the power of millions of voices calling for change.
We have been told we cannot do this by a chorus of cynics...they will only grow louder and more dissonant ........... We've been asked to pause for a reality check. We've been warned against offering the people of this nation false hope.
But in the unlikely story that is America, there has never been anything false about hope.
Now the hopes of the little girl who goes to a crumbling school in Dillon are the same as the dreams of the boy who learns on the streets of LA; we will remember that there is something happening in America; that we are not as divided as our politics suggests; that we are one people; we are one nation; and together, we will begin the next great chapter in the American story with three words that will ring from coast to coast; from sea to shining sea --
Yes. We. Can.
Monday, February 04, 2008
I don't even know your name
Little woman I don't even know your age
But there's something about you girl
When I see you wining in front the stage
Please forgive me, please excuse me
But there's nothing else that a man can do
I can't help myself little woman
I just need to be next to you
Rupee - Tempted To Touch
I step into the self-checkout line at Wal-mart with my ice cream and Pringles. The lady in front of me seems to be struggling using the checkout. So I look around at the other lines, wondering which one I should go to. While I am looking to my left I feel a small hand touch my right shoulder.
I turn around and see a small woman who looked no older than 22. She is about 5'3, with a complexion that reminds me of Nia Long. A smile gracefully moved across her face. Her hair was about shoulder length. She was wearing a Wal-mart shirt that was well-fitting for her upper body. Her hips were mesmerizing with "assets" that would surprise someone because of how small she was.
"I can help you up here," she said. I just nodded and followed her. I kept staring at her as she walked. She walked with confidence.
" I am not suppose to do this but I feel bad. I do not want you waiting forever for the lady to finish. I get exhausted looking at her," she said this and then smiled.
"I would like to thank you," I stammered as I kept looking at her lips. I was losing focus and getting nervous.
" I like your hair," she smiled at me again. I could not say anything. So I stuttered, "Thanks"
She took my items and rang them up, "$4.70 is your total". I handed her the money. She took the money out of my hand a little oddly. It was if she wanted to touch me. As she gave me the change, she touched the center of my palm. I felt myself get a little more nervous.
I then got courageous enough to say something other than thanks, "I feel bad that you are working during the Super Bowl. You should be watching the game."
"I know! If I was not here I would definitely watching the game with a friend." She said this and winked at me. I stood there, still staring at her with a smile.
"Tell them to give you raise! Take care!" I said this as I was walking away. In my mind I was debating whether or not I should ask for her number and name. I found her attractive. She seemed nice. She was giving me signals...
I kept it moving. I was too afraid to approach.
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
Thursday, January 17, 2008
I invited this chick Lauren out to th bar with me and a few friends. Lauren normally rarely goes out with people and I felt bad. So we all go out. This girl gets mad because I buy a drink for a friend who was celebrating her birthday. Lauren gets really pissy about it. Then Lauren keeps bringing up the fact that I dated her over her (This happened our freshman year and we are now seniors). That got annoying really quickly. Then she got upset that this Brazilian girl was talking to me and dancing with me.
She says, " You know I am prettier than her"
I gave her an odd look. I went back to macking on the Brazilian chick.
Later I am daancing with the birthday friend. No lie, we are getting down on the wall. Its very flirtatious but it means nothing. Lauren continues to stare and make faces.
I dance with Lauren and she starts questioning me, "Why cant you stop all these girls from flirting? Why do they like you? They need to leave you alone."
What sense does it make for her to get jealous when she has a man? This man who treats her better than other she has met. So we leave around 12:30 and head to my place to play Wii.
We get back and she continues to whine. I tell her to shut up and play. She starts going flip mode. She then screams that she is tired. I tell her she can sleep in the empty room. She tries to take residence in my bed.
Thats a no no. If not invited, you dont lay in my bed. Thats the rule. My bed. School pays for me to sleep there, not anyone else. So I go on my computer and hit up my friend Amanda. She was having some trouble. Lauren comes in,
"Who is this bitch?!?!?!? You trying to fuck her too??!?!"
Now I have not even tried to get at Lauren. But that was out of line. So I put her out. So she leaves. As I am on my way to visit Amanda, Lauren sees me from across the parking lot.
"So now you want some pussy from this other bitch because I would not give you none?!?!? Fuck you Gary!!!"
"No, fuck you Lauren. Thats why you made!!! You know I wont you stank pussy bitch!"
And I keep it moving. Jealousy is ugly. I mean Lauren was cool until she got jealousy. There is no reason for a supposed adult or whatever to act that way. If you feeling me, come correct. But she has a man so she does not need to worry about what I am doing. I am grown.
Wednesday, January 16, 2008
I have also been playing Mario 64. I have been getting my video game on this week. I have some free time so I play a few games to chill. It just reminds me of my youth when I played Super Nintendo. Oh well.
Friday, January 11, 2008
I have reached a point in which I am tired of being told i should be afraid. When I look at many of the presidential candidates, (Guiliani, Clinton, Romney) all I hear is that I should be afraid. Do these idiots not realize that is what the terrorists want?? They want us to walk around afraid. That is what a terrorist does. He/she commits violent acts that inspire terror.
I refuse to be like that. If the attacks are going to happen. they will. All we can do is be prepared. We also have to realize that nothing we do will keep us 100% safe. It is just not feasible. So you have to realize that even after all the precautions there is still a chance of an attack. Just keep your head up and do not live in fear. As Katt Williams says:
"Control the shit you can control. Don't worry about the rest of it"
I love this election season. I am proud of Obama. He is definitely making a fight out of it. His message is a positive one. When I hear what he says, I feel as if there is a chance the world can get better. That is what really makes me like him. He knows that our country has issues. He nows that there are a lot of issues. Yet he makes it seem as if it is possible to find a solution to the problems. Other Democratic candidates do not have the optimism. I hope he wins. I am definitely excited. I have watched all the primaries so far.
Israel vs Palestine
Bush should have been took his monkey ass over there. Now he wants to wait until he is almost done to pretend to care. I guess he figured Iraq will not be done so he needs to try nation-building some where else. What a waste!!! I do hope that he succeeds however. Solving the Israeli-Palestinian problem is key. Fixing that problem helps in many ways
1. It requires a coalition of Arab nations. This means that they have a stake in maintaining peace in Palestine. This coalition can then be used to help with Iraq.
2. With statehood finally coming to being, this will help eliminate terrorism in Palestine. People have no reason to invest in the ideology when they have what they want.
Friday, January 04, 2008
I live by myself. My roommate Ty decided he was taking the term off. So he will not be back until Spring Term. This means I am alone. Now most people would love living on their own. There is a peace that comes wit it. BUT I AM SOOOOOOO LONELY!! I am dead serious. I am used to there always being someone around. It got so bad that I did the Cupid Shuffle in my apartment BY MYSELF!! I need my roommate to get his ass back here. I am going loco. I have four tv's in the apartment and I keep two of them on at all times plus the music blaring. Thats done so that there is noise. It does not feel quite as lonely.
But other than that life has been great. Cnel and I went to the bar back in Baltimore and had a blast. We found a spot called Iguana Cantina. They had a $12 open bar night on Saturday. So we went. It was a little weird because I felt so old. Now I am only 21 but the people there looked like kids. I guess I am used to there being a lot of older people instead of only college kids. So i was a little awkward but a whole bunch of drinks later, it was great!! Me and Cnel at the bar. I am a little tipsy....
But I am back at school now trying to get my hustle on. So I am adjusting to the whole "actually doing work" business. I need to finish strong. I am a senior so I should pretend to be a good example to the youngins ahahahaha!! Just kidding. But I need to go. I got things to do.