Sunday, November 23, 2008

A Letter of Love and Courage

To The Woman I Love:

You cheated on me. You committed the most heinous act that one could commit in a relationship: you had an affair with another man. And at this moment, I feel a pain inside that I never thought you would cause. I feel hurt because I would do my damnedest to never do such a thing to you. I feel betrayed. You straight up lied to me. When asked if being around him would be a problem, you told me nothing was wrong. You told me never to worry about this person. But it was all a lie. How could you do that to me? We had plans of you moving in my place with me. We were going to create a life together. Maybe not married, but our relationship was suppose to grow deeper and move onto a path where we could consider that type of future. Yet, you put that all in danger. Just for a few moments for reasons you never made clear, you threw it away

I have done my part. I stayed faithful through many drunk nights at the bar. I stayed faithful through having an ex throw herself at me. I have stayed faithful living alone and knowing that I could cheat and you would never find out. Because when I became your man, I made a vow. I promised you I would never go out of my way to hurt you. I have held true. My faith in you and love for you have never wavered.

And through all of this, I want to be with you. When you told me what you did, all I could think about is how to make it better. There has to be a way to make our relationship stronger I thought. I truly believe, even in my moment of pain, that I love you and want to be you.

In order for this to work, you must teach me to trust you again. Make me believe in you. Make me believe that you believe in us. I need to be able to trust you. Right now, you have planted doubt in me. When I hear you say "I love you", a voice in my head questions it. Whenever you send me a text message saying you are thinking of me, I wonder if its true.

I am moving to forgive you. Love is forgiving; it does not hold grudges. In time, I will heal. But you must get me to trust you again. You must.

6 comments:

The Brown Blogger said...

Still standing.

A mark of a man.

Period.

CNEL said...

Wow this is impressive.
A) The fact that you were able to communicate so effectively.
B) That you were able to fully grasp the situation.
C) You've committed to resolving it.
D)To see that your love is more than a passing thing.

Eb the Celeb said...

damn.. your a good one... that must be love... women take men back all the time but you rarely see a man say OK let's work on us because I still love you

kathi said...

You are amazing. I picked the right words to describe you. Love. Courage. I wish I could help, that's the mom in me. You, again, are an amazing person and I'm so very proud of you. I'm also sorry for your pain.

Hadassah said...

Thats passion right thur. I hope all will work out

p_nami said...

Not only are you willing to work it out, you also has the courage to share your pain with us.

I hope things work out in your favor. You deserve it.