Monday, February 28, 2005

Genius Idea

I have a genius idea. I am going to create a Player's Bible. It makes sense. There is a Women's Bible that focuses on issues that women have. There is a Men's Bible. Damnit, King James even got his own Bible. I feel that players are represented in the Bible. King David was a player. He took people's wives. Solomon was a player with a bunch of wives. Jesus even had some women on the side. So why can't players get a BiBLE?? I am gonna make one. It is gonna be a massive undertaking but I can do it

Friday, February 25, 2005

My poem to Vanessa

Why??? (Dedicated to Amelia Diaz)

Why do I feel for you
when you are numb to me??
Why do I want to hear your voice
when I know it is not calling for me??
Why do I want your kiss
When you give the small ones on my cheek,
So bland
They are only given out of friendship, not desire
Why do I crave to see you
When my comings and goings mean nothing to you??
Amelia, Amelia
Don’t you understand?
I need to want to need you!!
Why do you make me ask these questions?
Why do I ask these questionsWhen I don’t want to know the answer?

Wednesday, February 23, 2005

Going home

I finally get to go home. Now I love the 3rd floor. I really do. I just am really glad to be going back. I am going back to a place where the eggs are plastic. I am going back to where I see Black people!!! I really miss seeing Black people. I really do. I am going back to a place where I can actually win at video games. Home is a place where homework does not exist and there are no test and quizzes. I am going home.........

Tuesday, February 22, 2005


It is almost over. I have 2 finals tomorrow than I am done. That's it. But I am almost brain dead. Pray for me.

Friday, February 18, 2005

Old Girlfriends

I hate to write this blog. It is so very classic. I am going to write about me ex. Wow. There are millions of blogs just like this. Who gives a fuck.

My relationship with my ex is sort of like a female bird's relationship with her nest. A female bird lays eggs in their nest. They sometimes leave the nest for a while to get foood for the baby birds. Well, humans come and touch the birds and leave their scent all over the nest. Do you know what happens?? Since the humans left their smell, the mother bird will not come back to the nest.

Thats how I feel about my ex. Someone has spoiled my nest and I don't know if I want to come back. I cannot treat her the same way. I cannot look at her the same way. I just can't. Oh well. Who gives a fuck.

Wednesday, February 16, 2005


(A short unfinished dissertation on the life and times of Seamus O’ Baker O’ Callahan) by Frank The Maintenance Man

"A lone stallion galloped across the pale sky of a moonless night. The horse was strong, beautiful, and majestic; for if ever there was an image of Gods grace it lay inside the poetic movements of this finely tuned muscular machine. “CRASH,” lightning lit the scene with a sudden rushed flash that gave only a fleeting glimpse of what one saw, save one set. For upon, a mesa of considerable grandeur stood one lone man. Now be forewarned the description that is henceforth written has been known to kill grown men and make babes weep at its very mention. Without much further ado I present to you a man, yet not just a man. This is some strange concoction only fit for a madman too crazed to realize the simple truth of cause and effect. This “thing” was too much of a beast to be fit for the world of man yet too much of a man to be called a beast. He stood ten feet tall and could hurl boulders far beyond the reaches of the horizon. It has been said that the Lord himself reached his mighty hand to the earth and formed this “man” from the rocks, earth, and the life of nature that held the world in existence. In fact this man taught Thomas Jefferson to read and George Washington not to lie. I could speak myself insane with this man’s accomplishments, yet that wouldn’t even approach his true magnificence. The glory of this man lay upon his head. His locks…the color of the most intense ruby red to exist. They fell around his masculine frame like one illuminated Angel. That being exactly what he was; an Angel, an Angel of Doom, Love, Compassion, Creation, and Destruction. For he and he alone could conquer that poet of a beast that still rushed forth into the night sky…….

Regretfully cut short due to pressing ecumenical matters."

By, Franklin Wayne Gehres

Frank The Maintenence Man is the greatest; he really is

Tuesday, February 15, 2005

Stripper In Class

Today I had a stripper as a guest lecturer in my Human Sexuality class. When I say stripper, I mean stripper. A woman who takes her clothes off for money. She was a guest lecturer in my class.

What I was thinking at first:

1. How much money does it take in order for her to take her clothes off?
2. Does she sleep with people for money??
3. How educated is she???
4. Is her hair color real??
5. What can I do to become a stripper??

I had a bunch of other questions. I grilled her. She could not handle the questions. She claimed she had so many degrees but she wouldnt tell us what they were. I asked her what she was going to do after she retired since she claimed to have a plan. She never answered the question. I asked her why she spends so much energy hiding her profession. I mean, she claims to be content with her profession; she claims that she is proud of the independence it provides; why hide it? She never answered my question. I disagreed with many points that she made, such as girls have more pressure than guys or that girls don't date assholes. I put her on the hot seat and made her talk and explain herself.

She failed miserably.

Oh well. I guess she has to continue to take her clothes off for money.

Monday, February 14, 2005

Valentine's Day

Today is Valentine's Day and I am single. Now one would believe that I should be angry because I have no Valentine. That is not the case. I look at it like this: I have options. I no longer have an obligation to just one lady. I now can choose my own Valentine. The problem is that I now have no one to choose. Oh well. Today is just like every other day.

Love; noun, a legal form of insanity.

Sunday, February 13, 2005


I feel motivated to not let shit bother me. I will be better toworrow than I am today. I am reborn.

Weird Quotes

Crazy things that I say:

"I can't believe it. It almost too good to be true. I have never seen a white girl do that."

" Buddha: I don't understand why people smoke...

Me: Yeah, especially girls. It's just not attractive.
Jared: I know. I mean, it's ok for girls to smell like flowers. It's ok for girls to smell like fruit, or...

" That's some real fucked up repugnant shit."

" It must be her ass because it ain't her face."

" Girl, who put that hump in your back?"

" I don't play those types of reindeer games."

" I gotta pay the cost to be the boss."

Is there anything else that I say which is weird??

Thursday, February 10, 2005


My commentary on women:

You all do some really fucked up, repugnant shit. I don't think I will ever understand and fully comprehend the behavior of women. Women: the most observed yet least understood creatures of all the universe