The John Mayer Controversy

The John Mayer Playboy Interview

So while snowed in this week, I read and heard all this uproar about John Mayer's Playboy interview. Since I had nothing better to do with my time of confinement in the house, I trolled the internet and found the interview (Funny story: this the first time I have ever been on Playboy's website. All for a man lol). I read the story twice and had a different reaction than most of the people on the internet.

1. I do not believe John Mayer is an asshole. I really don't. He says some things that seem outrageous. But in reality, what he says in honest. He tells you exactly how he feels about stuff. Is it put eloquently? No. Not at all. But at least he keeps it 100. There is no pre-fabricated responses with him.

2. I do not believe he is racist. Everyone has been making such a hoopla about John Mayer using the N-word. But for real, if you look at what he said, it sure was the truth.

MAYER: Someone asked me the other day, “What does it feel like now to have a hood pass?” And by the way, it’s sort of a contradiction in terms, because if you really had a hood pass, you could call it a nigger pass. Why are you pulling a punch and calling it a hood pass if you really have a hood pass? But I said, “I can’t really have a hood pass. I’ve never walked into a restaurant, asked for a table and been told, ‘We’re full.’"


John Mayer wasn't being racist. What he was saying was that people really want to say "you act like a nigger" but they wont because it is politically incorrect to say that. People won't say "since Black people like you, you gotta be one of them savages". We all know tis true. The second thing he was saying is that he isn't Black because he has never even went through the experiences that Black people have. Was what he said eloquent? Oh hell no. John Mayer's prose is not even close to his poetry. But what he said definitely had some truth.


3. And even if he did say something racist, does it matter? This is John Mayer. He is not worth all the effort of spazzing out. If you want to end racism, go protest a police station. There are officers in police stations who set race relations back 20 years every time they put on a badge

Black Women Unmarried

Here is my opinion after watching this:
(Disclaimer: I date interracially . I don't prefer other races of women, I just have no problem dating outside my race)

I don't really pity these women for several reasons. The first, we cannot help that there are overall fewer Black men than Black women. Unless one starts genetically selecting for more men to be around, women will always miss out on getting married.

Secondly, women are purposefully choosing to marry later; whether it is to pursue a career or other things. That is not a bad thing but when you choose to wait, you just not going to marry as early.

The 3rd reason is that I know these professional women have overlooked brothers because they have "standards". I know if a dude was not making as much, he got looked over most likely. If his job does not seem to have "high career growth", they probably were not going to stick around. I guess that is fine too. But what most corporate Black women fail to realize is that most brothers are not even entering corporate America. They are starting their own businesses or working in the non-profit world. These men may have jobs that are not going to lead to them being the "corporate captains" of America. So as soon as many women feel like a man is not being "man enough" by being the bread winner they check out. Not all women feel like this but I have met quite a few Black women who do.

Like I know these women would not like me. I got too many strikes. I date interracially. I work in the non-profit arena. I do not fit the idea of being a brother on the rise. So they miss out.

Tell me what you think.

  

Niggers, Niggas, Niggaz

This makes me want to stop using the word.

Interracial Crisis

I am having a crisis of the heart.

I told Cnel about this while in Texas. That trip really really pulled on my soul. Thats why I wont blog or post pics (plus I lost the cord to connect my camera to my comp lol). It really left my soul hurting. Here is why.

I am reconsidering my stance on interracial dating, specifically between Blacks and Whites. I am not saying am stopping but I am cosider that I should stop dating interracially. I had discovered a lot in Texas. Not discovered, but more came to terms. I realized that our society still has a lot of ignorance. That as much as we have integrated, Whites still know very little about Black people.

Now I do not expect that Whites understand everything. I guess I thought that we were further along. I felt that maybe it was not as bad among people in my age group. I thought that anthropologists-in-training were more aware, especially since we study culture. I was wrong

While in Texas, some of the people (all female since they were the vast majority while there) just made some retarded comments. The sad thing is that they were not even malicious. They were born out of the fact that these people have limited knowledge of interacting with people of color. I ended up having to defend my people and what we do. I know that Black people have issues. We really do. Some of us do some ridiculous shit. But (this may sound old school) I just could not let them criticize us. I just couldn't.

The experience made me think. Do I want to have to explain things to a woman who is White?? I just am tired of having to explain my Blackness. I feel like its on trial. I guess I am tired. I just want someone who understands where I am coming from and can accept it.

Then there is a part of me that says I can't stop dating interracially. There is a young lady who is White. I have known her for a long time. We are friends. We spent a lot of time together in Texas. Now, we both are kind of feeling each other. We even have a date for when we get back. So now I feel like I cannot exclude her because of her skin color. She is a good person. I cannot justify reconsidering my dating stance with the fact that I find her attractive. I have always been raised to not judge people by their skin color but I feel like I am doing it now. Who knows. I am just confused.

A World Of Girls

I've kissed the most exotic face
From London to Honolu
Made love in the most romantic places
What more can one man do

Livin' in a world of girls
It's like swimmin' in a sea of pearls
Taste like caviar
Watching shooting stars
Like silk to the touch
Diamonds in a rush

Joe - World of Girls

Anyone who knows me knows that I love women. I love them. I love the way they walk. I love the way they talk. I love their little mannerisms, their temper tantrums. I love how they take care of themselves. I enjoy their company. It was only recently in my life that I had more male best friends than female best friends. I just love the company of women.

My love for women transcends color. Yes, I, a Black man dates outside the race. I have no problem admitting it. I do not have a preference based on color. There are too many gorgeous women of various hues for me to discriminate.

Do I have a preference? No. I do not have a preference. Actually, I think I do. Let me explain:

I say I do not have a preference but I do see a pattern now that I look. I have had romantic encounters with Asian, White, and Black females. I grew up in a mixed neighborhood so it happens. I have been to mixed chools (elementary), all Black (middle school), mostly white (high school and college). So I have been exposed. But I do have an unconscious preference: Black women. I say that because those are the type of females I have had the most romantic encounters with. Its that simple. I do not know if it is exactly a preference or is it just a pattern.

I do keep my options open though. My longest relationship was with a White female. So I do not discriminate. I do not choose one female over the other because of color. I look for their physical attractiveness and their personalities. I just do not factor color in whether I am attractied. I do look at color when it comes to how their families will feel. Color just does not matter when it comes to attractiveness. Thats my opinion. For me, I cannot say that I love all people if I cannot allow myself to fall in love with all people. You catch my drift??

I know some Black women will have a problem with this. Some may not even date me. I know this is true. But if a woman is going to exclude me because I interracially date, then she is not right for me. I just do not see a problem with interracially dating. It does not make me any less "Black" because of it. I miss out on some beautiful people (physically and personality-wise). I have learned a lot about myself because of it. I have learned a lot dating Black females but I have also learned a lot dating outside my race. All in all, I will never stop dating outside my race. I will not start preferring one type of woman over another because of skin color. That's just not me. Plus, I am living in a world of girls.