Thursday, July 06, 2006

Let's Cut The Bullshit

Lately I have been fronting as if everything is going perfectly fine. Well it is not.

I just did not want to admit what was going down. I felt that if I cannot admit it to myself, how can I admit it to my blogger fam. So I went on like nothing was wrong. Plus the male stubborness kicked in too.

So me and the girlfriend ended it last night. I can say that this was my fault. I have some real commitment issues. After being with one person for a while, I start to get that feeling that I need to leave. It always starts out small and then it continues to grow until I start becoming emotionally distant. I had to end it though. I could not keep doing this to her. It was just wrong.

So now I miss her like crazy. I have bumpin Toni Braxton "Another Sad Love Song". I just feel like doo doo without my other half.

10 comments:

AJ said...

*Hugs* Breaking up is horrible. It's hard to break patterns like that, hard to know where they come from & what to do about them. Sounds like you're trying to do what you feel is right though, and that's gotta count for something.

CNEL said...

I'm sorry being one of your best friends let me tell you that you're stupidddddddddddddd. Capital S a lot of D's.

Everyone loves M and its obvious that you do too.

Ha

I had to do it.

But on a serious note, you know what has to be done. You have to make sure you're spiritually, mentally, emotionally, & physically sound. You need to make sure you achieve what you need to as an individual, before you can complement another.

Commitmentphobia. Grow up. Mr. "You have to be willing to take a risk."

Ain't nothing out for you homie, but skutterbunks, you better go back and get your pot of gold.

Ms.Honey said...

Awww....sending you virtual hugs and a drink at the bar.

In Madea's family reunion Maya Angelou says that Love is many things but it's never unsure. If you're sure that you love her and that taking a break or stepping away is what you need...do that

Get yourself together, she'll love you even the more for that. She'll be happy to know that when you come back after preparing yourself for her it will be even better.

Don't delay too long though....cause sometimes good things go fast.

Rashan Jamal said...

I don't pretend to know you. In fact this is my first time stopping through. But i'm sorry you are going through this tough time. Break ups are hard. Keep ya head up.

Anonymous said...

Cnel - I only let you get away with it because you are my best friend. I am definitely gonna make sure i am spiritually, mentally, emotionally, & physically sound.

Honey-Libra - I def could use that drink!!! Ima try and get myself together. It aint easy but it must be done.

TCas ~ Sorry your first ime stoppin by was a sad one.

Amberjane ~ It has definitely been a while. I hope it does count for something.

kathi said...

Honey.... Are you lonely for her, or just lonely? Answer that question and if it's for her, call her and get rid of that male pride babe. If you're just lonely, don't put her through it just to make yourself feel better.
Hugs

Sangindiva said...

Awww...
I'm sad that you are sad about your girl.
But at the same time I admire how you were
so honest and vulnrable... don't lose that.
It's a great quality.

Jameil said...

if you keep ending it when you get that feeling, you will always end up alone. are you getting some sort of help for your issues?

toneec42 said...

I'm going to give you some advice from the other side's perspective. Intelligent women don't lose their faculties when they're in love. What I mean is, just because we've grown to love you doesn't mean we suddenly think you are perfect. So understand that we love you as you are knowing you need work. And we're willing to work with you and/or support your work on yourself to help you reach your "potential". But the key is we love you as you are therefore if you don't reach your "potential" or settle all your issues, it's ok because we love you.
The excuse "I gotta work on me. Get all my issues settle. Get my life perfect before I can commit to you." wears thin. Real women (and men) don't look for perfect mates; they look for a mate who's perfect for them. Think about it. And as Kathi said if you're lonely for her, then swallow the male pride and call her. Don't allow the enemy to beat you with your own pride.

*snake*bite* said...

1st time visiting - i am reading this from a link from another one -Break ups are the worst but all the hurt etc will eventually go...
Sorry to sound so morbid.
Keep ya head up.
Take care, hugz.
xxS*Bxx