I have been trying to stay busy in order to not think about my situation. Friday, my best friend Danny, his cousin, and his gf went out. First, me and Danny stopped at Morgan State in order to visit my best friend Landon. Me and Landon have been cool since 5th grade. We met Danny and another cat name Jimal in high school and we have all been friends since.
Back to the story.
Me, Danny, and his cousin go to Morgan and check on Landon. It was good to see Landon. The last time I saw him we were tryna to prevent some dude from his school from gettin his ass kicked by a bouncer at Hammerjacks. So we just were all in the parking lot talking. Landon is doing well. He has a woman and he is getting a 4.0. So his grind is at full speed. We leave Morgan. While going to get Danny's woman, we have a heart to heart about my situation. He understands where I am coming from. He feels the exact same way that I do in his relationship. He just didnt leave though. But he sympathizes. We scoop his woman and drive around. We hit the harbor and me and Danny start acting goofy. We saw his gf's friends. They were checking me out but I am damaged goods so I didnt even attempt to holler. We all kicked it and then they dropped me off at my house.
Today, I went to my mother's best friend's wedding. I left the house looking sharp as shit!! I was on my grown and sexy. The ceremony was nice. It started late ( when do weddings ever start on time) but it was a good ceremony. Made me want to have a wedding!!
The reception was the bomb. I was dancing my a$$ off!!!. I had the older women tryna holler and everything. My mother was hating though. She would pop up and be like, "Let me introduce you to my son. He still in college." DONT BE HATING!!! I danced with my mother at the reception and everyone thought it was cute! I dance with some "cousins" of mine. I was just everywhere. Some older woman grabbed my butt. I must have made her day when I danced with her. It was just a good ole time with some bomb food.
I called her when I got home and she kinda laid me out. She told me that I gave up and did not try and work things out. I can see where she is coming from. I told her my problem and he said lets break up. I kinda ran from her. But I feel like I can't deal with the issue if I am with her. But I am not even sure I made the right decision either. It is hard for me. I need advice
The situation boils down to this: I found a person I would like to spend the rest of my life with, I just dont want the rest of my life to start now.
10 comments:
Dude, re-read your profile. You're making history every day so you don't need a month. Focus man, focus.
Eps...I feel for you. You're young. And dare I suggest that age might have some bearing on your circumstances. I also feel for her.
Advice...I would say that you should strip down and be honest about what the root of this commitment issue is.
Why do you maintain this pattern?
Is it bec the illusion of your relationship has worn off?
Do you see being in a relationship as holding you back? If yes, from what?
You make these feelings sound very general, but for you to break up with her, there has to be things that are very specific to this relationship.
I also agree with a prior post that says ask yourself if you're lonely or lonely for her?
I think it's perfectly honest to feel nervous about the rest of your life beginning at such an early age...but that's not the real issue here. The rest of your life has nothing to do with TODAY. So be prepared to deal with today and not use the distant daunting future as an excuse.
Chin up, baby!
@ I found a person I would like to spend the rest of my life with, I just dont want the rest of my life to start now.-
This is the realist shit ever written-
Now, at least you know...
and knowing is half the battle :)
You're just not ready, when the time is right it will feel right. You're still young and perhaps she is the one for you but anything rushed is never a good thing.
Thank you all for leaving your words.
Mannmotion ~ Its just a lil difficult to focus. Actually very but I am trying.
So...Wise~ I am definitely going to reflect on those questions. I dont have all the answers now. But they need to be answered.
sangindiva ~ I cant even believe I came up with that one. But it does feel good to at least know. Knowledge is power
delaleuverses~ I just wish she understood that.
Poor baby! Epsi, the Love game is the hardest game to play. You can't con your way into and outof Love. I'm sad because you feel sad about your lost love, but listen, you're young, you have the next 20 years to open and close doors until you find the Right One. Trust me, she'll come along, but hopefully at a time when you've matured and grown up and is really ready for her.
Keep hope alive, youngun, and do good with your college education. That's more important anyway. But don't afraid to let a gal "check" you out; I mean, you might be single, but you aint "dead". You still got a mack daddy inside you!
Nice to make your acquaintance. My name is Insanity...
Loved reading about your time out and the wedding. You enjoyed yourself and you enjoyed others enjoying you, lol.
I'm proud of you for calling her, and laying it all out honestly. You're showing how grown and responsible, what a real man, you are by being honest with what you want, and what you aren't ready for yet.
Advice? You're being honest with yourself and her, hon. That's all you can do. I respect you for it.
Damn, homey, that last paragraph was deep. I dont think I thought like that when I was young.
Glad you got to get out and have some fun.
from a girl whos experiencing the same thing that she is ...if it was up to me and i wanted to keep it "unreal" so to speak i would tell you that you should be with her no if, ands or buts about it ... and yet at the same time i respect you for at least knowing where you stand and realizing the potential that could someday exist between the two of you ...the truth of the matter is that it hurts plain and simple ... to know that you care so much for someone who is not ready to reciprocate at that moment in time ...its hard ... cause youre left with displaced love...emotions...whatever you want to call them ... and no matter how you try no one can feel that void ... i cant claim to completely know the i situation ... but just be gentle ... and know that your future can still exist with her too ... if you so choose ..
I'm glad you had a fun time. It's good to keep living while going through tough times.
And I am glad that you called her and talked more about the situation. Being open and honest is always the best but also be aware that analyzing and dissecting the situation with her over and over again may cause her extra heartache.
If you are sure in your feeling that you are not ready to settle down yet, then don't string her along by "keeping in touch". You both need to heal and move on along your separate paths. Perhaps one day they will meet up again but you both have to keep walking forward to get to that juncture.
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