Sunday I found out my aunt has cancer.
My mother had told me that I am the last to know. She did not know all the info so she waited to tell me. Plus, I am my aunt's favorite relative and they did not know how to tell me. When I heard it at first, I was fine. It hit me hard but I kept it together.
Then the nite came.
I cried when I had time to think about it. My aunt's prognosis is that the cancer is advanced. It has spread throughout her body. She is paralyzed right now because she has it on her spine and her brain. They do not know how long she has.
I cried because I just don't want to go through this again. I lost another aunt in 2003 to cancer. I am close to all of my aunts and uncle but these two I am closest to. I lost one that I was really close to but I dont want to lose another. I am also upset because it makes me realize that I am about to lose a lot fo family members that I am so used to having around. I have uncles, aunts, and cousins in thier 40s and 50s. They could get sick and I could lose them. The frailty of mortality has hit me hard. It is really eating at me.
At first I was not going to write about it. I was going to pretend that everything is going perfectly. Then I realized that I can't just lie. I cannot hide how I am feeling. Im not built to lie.
So I am going to call my aunt every week. Every single week I will call. I am going to cherish the time she has left. Maybe a miracle can happen. Remember, there is hope in the unseen.
2 comments:
Making the most of the time that she is left in your life is what's important and when she is gone that's what you will remember. Being there for her is what she will remember when it gets tough. I'll keep you in my prayers...thanks for stopping by and I'll probably be back on Monday lol..can't stay away too long
pray. :)
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