I cannot seem to get it moving. I think because my office has no heat in it (the outside temp is 23 degrees), I am struggling. If you all love me, please send a space heater before I turn into a chocolate popsicle.
Alos, I am happy because the planning committee for the holiday party meets today. I love planning this party even though I hate Christmas. This is helping me feel less Grinch-esque.
The office is quiet and I love it.
Thursday, December 16, 2010
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
Talking to Myself
Stream of conscious.... here we go
I often talk to myself. Seriously. And the reason is simple: I often have the answer to my own question or problem (whether I follow it or not is a whole 'nother story). Thus, while in the shower I will literally talk the problem out. It seems quite insane but it works for me. And the solution I derive is often elegant and simple.
However, there is a second reason I do this. If I have to get something off my chest, I know that talking to myself about it will keep it between me and myself. When I have the urge to confess, I need discretion. I do not like a whole rack of folk knowing every dirty little secret. I have done things I am not proud of. Yet lately, it seems the the only way to find absolution is to talk it out to myself. So between shampooing my hair and exfoliating, I talk everything out. In the shower. Between my Kanye-sized ego and myself.
Until I find a better, more intelligent counselour, that is what I am sticking with.
Whew. Thats all i had to share
I often talk to myself. Seriously. And the reason is simple: I often have the answer to my own question or problem (whether I follow it or not is a whole 'nother story). Thus, while in the shower I will literally talk the problem out. It seems quite insane but it works for me. And the solution I derive is often elegant and simple.
However, there is a second reason I do this. If I have to get something off my chest, I know that talking to myself about it will keep it between me and myself. When I have the urge to confess, I need discretion. I do not like a whole rack of folk knowing every dirty little secret. I have done things I am not proud of. Yet lately, it seems the the only way to find absolution is to talk it out to myself. So between shampooing my hair and exfoliating, I talk everything out. In the shower. Between my Kanye-sized ego and myself.
Until I find a better, more intelligent counselour, that is what I am sticking with.
Whew. Thats all i had to share
Wednesday, August 04, 2010
Time Off
So during this period of unemployment that started July 30th, I have been taking it pretty easy. Resting, viewing apartments, watching TV... all things I have done during this period off. Don't get it twisted, I have also been looking for work. I had a good interview and now I am waiting to hear something. I will definitely keep you all updated!!
But my favorite thing about my time of is... BBCAmerica! They have Star Trek: The Next Generation reruns on for a good chunk of the day. I am a huuuuuuge TNG fan so this has been unemployment heaven. So I have been watching this when I have the opportunities. Every time I see Levar Burton on there I laugh because he reminds me of my nerdy self.
I may need to find some other good shows to watch. Any suggestions
But my favorite thing about my time of is... BBCAmerica! They have Star Trek: The Next Generation reruns on for a good chunk of the day. I am a huuuuuuge TNG fan so this has been unemployment heaven. So I have been watching this when I have the opportunities. Every time I see Levar Burton on there I laugh because he reminds me of my nerdy self.
I may need to find some other good shows to watch. Any suggestions
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
The Miracle of Life
I woke up this morning and sat on the couch. While eating Fruit Loops and watching CNN I let my mind wander a little bit. One of the things I thought about was the miracle of life.
The point I am trying to make is that life is so precious. Humans only live on average about 70-75 years. When one compares it to the length of the existence of the planet, that's a minor blink. Yet at the same time, humans are able to do so much in such a short time. A person can become leader of the free world. Another person can almost destroy democracy for a whole continent. Individuals can invent technologies that save millions of lives or destroy the planet in a blink. There is just so much potential within each and every one of us. And there are times I wake up in the morning, and I am overly impressed and awed by it.
The point I am trying to make is that life is so precious. Humans only live on average about 70-75 years. When one compares it to the length of the existence of the planet, that's a minor blink. Yet at the same time, humans are able to do so much in such a short time. A person can become leader of the free world. Another person can almost destroy democracy for a whole continent. Individuals can invent technologies that save millions of lives or destroy the planet in a blink. There is just so much potential within each and every one of us. And there are times I wake up in the morning, and I am overly impressed and awed by it.
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
While Doing Nothing At My Desk
- I just saw a photo of Her on Facebook this morning. Not even going to front, she looks good. Very good. I was struck speechless when I saw her photo. Her and I are not even on speaking terms. She would not even piss on fire to put me out. Given the opportunity, she would slit my throat in my sleep. But she still looked fly nonetheless
- This new person who works in my office walks like a model. When she walked down the hall,the first thing I thought was "Project Runway". Her posture is very model-esque.
- I need to do these damn taxes. I keep putting it off but they need to get done. I need some cash
- I have switched my bank account from Bank of America to a credit union. NO MORE FEES!
- I am considering doing a side business for financial management. For the past year I have been doing tons of research about it. I find financial management interesting even though I hate math. I may do it. I think I should ask around and see.
Monday, March 08, 2010
Life's Perspective
I got into an argument on last Wednesday with a program manager from my AmeriCorps/Public Allies program.
She told me that she felt as if I did not care about the program or the people in it. This statement came from the fact on my recent evaluation, my AmeriCorps group mates did not evaluate me as high as my actual job supervisor.So went into this thing with she said I am dismissive, etc etc. Supposedly, my attitude stinks, I am rude and off-putting, I do not do work.
So I summoned my inner asshole and told her how I truly feel. I am not emotionally attached to my career. My self-worth is not tied to my career. Whether or not I am a good person is not dictated by how well I do my job. Thus, when my fellow AmeriCorps people worry about whether people's opinion of them change due to the success of the project, I do not panic. I do not worry.
That may seem transcendent for people. It may sound like I do not care. But I know when I meet my Maker, if there is a Maker, they will not judge me by how well I do not my job. There are other criteria that will
determine. Does this mean I do not want a great career? No. But what it means is that I will never put my career over how I treat and love my friends, family, and other people. I will never let career moves dictate whether I should be kind or courteous. I will never let career aspirations get in the way of spending time with the people I love the most. Thats all.
Perspective is what it is all about.
She told me that she felt as if I did not care about the program or the people in it. This statement came from the fact on my recent evaluation, my AmeriCorps group mates did not evaluate me as high as my actual job supervisor.So went into this thing with she said I am dismissive, etc etc. Supposedly, my attitude stinks, I am rude and off-putting, I do not do work.
So I summoned my inner asshole and told her how I truly feel. I am not emotionally attached to my career. My self-worth is not tied to my career. Whether or not I am a good person is not dictated by how well I do my job. Thus, when my fellow AmeriCorps people worry about whether people's opinion of them change due to the success of the project, I do not panic. I do not worry.
That may seem transcendent for people. It may sound like I do not care. But I know when I meet my Maker, if there is a Maker, they will not judge me by how well I do not my job. There are other criteria that will
determine. Does this mean I do not want a great career? No. But what it means is that I will never put my career over how I treat and love my friends, family, and other people. I will never let career moves dictate whether I should be kind or courteous. I will never let career aspirations get in the way of spending time with the people I love the most. Thats all.
Perspective is what it is all about.
Monday, March 01, 2010
The Homosexual Question
My mom and I have been debating homosexuality recently. Recently, she became more religious. She used to have gay friends and never commented on their lifestyle.Now all of a sudden, homosexuality is a sin. "Those people" are sinners, evil, despicable or any other adjective that puts homosexuals in some sort of weirdo category.
But guess what? GASP! All that homosexuality is is a natural variance in human sexual behavior. Every single human culture/society that has ever existed in the 250,000 year lifespan of the homo sapiens has had homosexuals. It is plain and simple. Homosexuals are not weirdos. They are not sinful. Shit, most cultures don't even have the concept of sin. All homosexuality is is a natural variation in human sexual behavior. That is it.
My study of anthropology and archaeology has shown me this. Homosexuals in many cultures became shamans, religious/medical people in their society. Native Americans called them twin-spirits. Societies in Africa and Australia had homosexual members. I am pretty sure there may have even been gay Neandertals.
It comes down to this. Homosexuality is just another part of human nature. Just because you do not practice it doesn't mean it is evil...
Check out this link. You may find it interesting http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/35347847/ns/health-behavior/
But guess what? GASP! All that homosexuality is is a natural variance in human sexual behavior. Every single human culture/society that has ever existed in the 250,000 year lifespan of the homo sapiens has had homosexuals. It is plain and simple. Homosexuals are not weirdos. They are not sinful. Shit, most cultures don't even have the concept of sin. All homosexuality is is a natural variation in human sexual behavior. That is it.
My study of anthropology and archaeology has shown me this. Homosexuals in many cultures became shamans, religious/medical people in their society. Native Americans called them twin-spirits. Societies in Africa and Australia had homosexual members. I am pretty sure there may have even been gay Neandertals.
It comes down to this. Homosexuality is just another part of human nature. Just because you do not practice it doesn't mean it is evil...
Check out this link. You may find it interesting http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/35347847/ns/health-behavior/
Monday, February 22, 2010
Career Prospects
I really like my job. I really do. While I may dread waking up in the morning (I hate mornings), I do not dread going to work. This is the first place where I feel like the work that I do is important and is actually valued. The team I work with is amazing. The participants really appreciate us. I like what I do.
But as I sit at my desk, an opportunity for career growth has appeared. My current position is an AmeriCorps position. There is a full-time position available and I threw my name in the ring. I am vastly younger than all the candidates. I have less experience. But, I think I can make it in the rodeo. I just hope my boss believes he does. I don't think I want to leave this place yet. I kind of enjoy it...
But as I sit at my desk, an opportunity for career growth has appeared. My current position is an AmeriCorps position. There is a full-time position available and I threw my name in the ring. I am vastly younger than all the candidates. I have less experience. But, I think I can make it in the rodeo. I just hope my boss believes he does. I don't think I want to leave this place yet. I kind of enjoy it...
Saturday, February 13, 2010
The John Mayer Controversy
The John Mayer Playboy Interview
So while snowed in this week, I read and heard all this uproar about John Mayer's Playboy interview. Since I had nothing better to do with my time of confinement in the house, I trolled the internet and found the interview (Funny story: this the first time I have ever been on Playboy's website. All for a man lol). I read the story twice and had a different reaction than most of the people on the internet.
1. I do not believe John Mayer is an asshole. I really don't. He says some things that seem outrageous. But in reality, what he says in honest. He tells you exactly how he feels about stuff. Is it put eloquently? No. Not at all. But at least he keeps it 100. There is no pre-fabricated responses with him.
2. I do not believe he is racist. Everyone has been making such a hoopla about John Mayer using the N-word. But for real, if you look at what he said, it sure was the truth.
MAYER: Someone asked me the other day, “What does it feel like now to have a hood pass?” And by the way, it’s sort of a contradiction in terms, because if you really had a hood pass, you could call it a nigger pass. Why are you pulling a punch and calling it a hood pass if you really have a hood pass? But I said, “I can’t really have a hood pass. I’ve never walked into a restaurant, asked for a table and been told, ‘We’re full.’"
John Mayer wasn't being racist. What he was saying was that people really want to say "you act like a nigger" but they wont because it is politically incorrect to say that. People won't say "since Black people like you, you gotta be one of them savages". We all know tis true. The second thing he was saying is that he isn't Black because he has never even went through the experiences that Black people have. Was what he said eloquent? Oh hell no. John Mayer's prose is not even close to his poetry. But what he said definitely had some truth.
3. And even if he did say something racist, does it matter? This is John Mayer. He is not worth all the effort of spazzing out. If you want to end racism, go protest a police station. There are officers in police stations who set race relations back 20 years every time they put on a badge
So while snowed in this week, I read and heard all this uproar about John Mayer's Playboy interview. Since I had nothing better to do with my time of confinement in the house, I trolled the internet and found the interview (Funny story: this the first time I have ever been on Playboy's website. All for a man lol). I read the story twice and had a different reaction than most of the people on the internet.
1. I do not believe John Mayer is an asshole. I really don't. He says some things that seem outrageous. But in reality, what he says in honest. He tells you exactly how he feels about stuff. Is it put eloquently? No. Not at all. But at least he keeps it 100. There is no pre-fabricated responses with him.
2. I do not believe he is racist. Everyone has been making such a hoopla about John Mayer using the N-word. But for real, if you look at what he said, it sure was the truth.
MAYER: Someone asked me the other day, “What does it feel like now to have a hood pass?” And by the way, it’s sort of a contradiction in terms, because if you really had a hood pass, you could call it a nigger pass. Why are you pulling a punch and calling it a hood pass if you really have a hood pass? But I said, “I can’t really have a hood pass. I’ve never walked into a restaurant, asked for a table and been told, ‘We’re full.’"
John Mayer wasn't being racist. What he was saying was that people really want to say "you act like a nigger" but they wont because it is politically incorrect to say that. People won't say "since Black people like you, you gotta be one of them savages". We all know tis true. The second thing he was saying is that he isn't Black because he has never even went through the experiences that Black people have. Was what he said eloquent? Oh hell no. John Mayer's prose is not even close to his poetry. But what he said definitely had some truth.
3. And even if he did say something racist, does it matter? This is John Mayer. He is not worth all the effort of spazzing out. If you want to end racism, go protest a police station. There are officers in police stations who set race relations back 20 years every time they put on a badge
Monday, January 25, 2010
A Shot Across The Bow
I want each of you who watches the above video to take a moment and ask yourself this question: Am I doing enough to make theworld around me better?
Friday, January 22, 2010
Learning and Living
Here is something I read from secretregrets.com:
I read this and felt moved beyond belief. It made me reassess a comment I made earlier on Facebook. Maybe there is hope for the future.
I regret that in order to help the homeless, I have to listen to the paranoid shit that those rich church-goers throw at me.
I regret that I don't have the confidence to speak up and tell them that the homeless and the needy are not all alcoholic drug addicts bent on hurting children. The homeless and the needy saved my life. They conversed with me and made me feel needed. I hung on because of them. I regret that no one seems to see that the homeless and the needy are real people.
Well, you know what? I'm passionate about this, and I'm going to go against everyone's paranoid wishes. I'm going to converse, I'm going to get close. I'm going to do a photography series focusing on homelessness and poverty. I'm going to make those paranoid, dead-fish-handshake giving, stay-at-home mothers, rich church-goers realize that maybe, just maybe, the needy are people, too, and that they're nothing to be afraid of. I'm going to get my series into the community, and people will start to understand.
I know I've put a lot of hope into this. I'm only seventeen; a stupid teenager. What do I know about the way life works, right?
Bear with me. I will make a point, and it will be beautiful.
Female, 17
I regret that I don't have the confidence to speak up and tell them that the homeless and the needy are not all alcoholic drug addicts bent on hurting children. The homeless and the needy saved my life. They conversed with me and made me feel needed. I hung on because of them. I regret that no one seems to see that the homeless and the needy are real people.
Well, you know what? I'm passionate about this, and I'm going to go against everyone's paranoid wishes. I'm going to converse, I'm going to get close. I'm going to do a photography series focusing on homelessness and poverty. I'm going to make those paranoid, dead-fish-handshake giving, stay-at-home mothers, rich church-goers realize that maybe, just maybe, the needy are people, too, and that they're nothing to be afraid of. I'm going to get my series into the community, and people will start to understand.
I know I've put a lot of hope into this. I'm only seventeen; a stupid teenager. What do I know about the way life works, right?
Bear with me. I will make a point, and it will be beautiful.
Female, 17
I read this and felt moved beyond belief. It made me reassess a comment I made earlier on Facebook. Maybe there is hope for the future.
Friday, January 15, 2010
Mass Transit Folk
I take public transportation to work I have made some observations. There are always the same characters! Here they go:
Jesus Freak
This is the person who gets on the bus and train and greets everyone with a "Good morning! Praise Jesus!". Then, they try and get everyone to sing some gospel song or recite some Bible verse. They come sit next to you and want to teach you the joys of the "good news" These people need to realize that at 8am in the morning, the only good news I want to hear is I am getting paid or getting off work. Thats it. No offense, but even God hates early mornings
Booty Girl
This is the girl who has a "Big Booty Judy"-type of butt. Her pants hardly fits. It look like it took 1/2 hour to get in them jeans. Most likely she is young, around 18 or a lil older. Every man on the bus or train is peeking at her panties (most likely thongs). Even though I know its wrong, I look. I sure do. It might be tasteless to have a booty sticking out, but a brother gets curious.
Leaning Tower of Crack
I am sure every city has one of these! The crackhead that leans so far over they can lick their own toes. They eyes roll into the back of their head and they gone. This type of transit rider then will ask for a cigarette, knowing good and well they can't keep their head up, nonetheless a cigarette in their hand. They can be hilarious and bring joy to a morning commute.
The Entrpreneur
This is the man/woman who gets on the bus or trains and sells soap, socks and batteries. You know the type. In Baltimore, someone is always selling something on the bus I have seen these items for sale: soap, toothbrush, batteries, cd, dvds, vacuum cleaner, air freshener, water, soda, cigarettes, paint, and weave. The entrepreneur has the best deal you can find on everyday items!
She Got Kids!
This is the person who has 50 million kids. Now, it would not be a problem except the kids are hell to deal with. One kid is yelling and screaming while the other is crawling under the seats. A third is drawing on windows. The 4th child is talking to random folk. The kicker is then the mom starts wildin' out on the children, yelling and screaming delivering whippings like Bruce Lee with nunchucks. This is the most embarrising part...
Add types as you see fit
Jesus Freak
This is the person who gets on the bus and train and greets everyone with a "Good morning! Praise Jesus!". Then, they try and get everyone to sing some gospel song or recite some Bible verse. They come sit next to you and want to teach you the joys of the "good news" These people need to realize that at 8am in the morning, the only good news I want to hear is I am getting paid or getting off work. Thats it. No offense, but even God hates early mornings
Booty Girl
This is the girl who has a "Big Booty Judy"-type of butt. Her pants hardly fits. It look like it took 1/2 hour to get in them jeans. Most likely she is young, around 18 or a lil older. Every man on the bus or train is peeking at her panties (most likely thongs). Even though I know its wrong, I look. I sure do. It might be tasteless to have a booty sticking out, but a brother gets curious.
Leaning Tower of Crack
I am sure every city has one of these! The crackhead that leans so far over they can lick their own toes. They eyes roll into the back of their head and they gone. This type of transit rider then will ask for a cigarette, knowing good and well they can't keep their head up, nonetheless a cigarette in their hand. They can be hilarious and bring joy to a morning commute.
The Entrpreneur
This is the man/woman who gets on the bus or trains and sells soap, socks and batteries. You know the type. In Baltimore, someone is always selling something on the bus I have seen these items for sale: soap, toothbrush, batteries, cd, dvds, vacuum cleaner, air freshener, water, soda, cigarettes, paint, and weave. The entrepreneur has the best deal you can find on everyday items!
She Got Kids!
This is the person who has 50 million kids. Now, it would not be a problem except the kids are hell to deal with. One kid is yelling and screaming while the other is crawling under the seats. A third is drawing on windows. The 4th child is talking to random folk. The kicker is then the mom starts wildin' out on the children, yelling and screaming delivering whippings like Bruce Lee with nunchucks. This is the most embarrising part...
Add types as you see fit
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