This I guess is my treatise on abortion. This is not an argument about the right or wrong about abortion. It is just a question that no one has ever discussed.
Should the father of the child be notified/made aware of the fact that woman is going to abort his child? I say he should. Not only she he be made aware, he should also have a say. Now some women may get pissed but look at it like this:
If you keep the child, you expect for him to contribute his half to all the necessities, emotional, financial, and otherwise. You want it to be an equal partnership in raising the child. You expect him to be there for the 21 years it takes to raise a child (very few college students are fully independent). Also, the child is half mine. The DNA in my cells contirbuted to half of the child's. If you expect me to do all of this, how dare you exclude me from participating in the decision to terminiate the pregnancy? I feel that if the child is equally ours (which it is genetically and also we have to share half the responisibilities) then I need to be included in that decision.
Women should never think that they should not let the father know about aborting a child. Ethically, that is wrong. It really is. Since it takes to to make a baby, it should take two to make that kind of decision. I know if a woman aborted my child without telling me and I somehow found out, I would leave her. That may bother people but I would. Even if she does not care about my opinion, tell me what you are going to do. Ladies, tell your men, tell them.
9 comments:
Once again you show how responsible you are, I hope my boys grow to be quite a bit like you. I have so much respect for you, not that that is important to you, just sayin'.
Oh, and I agree. It's your child too.
it makes sense. but a woman also has to carry that child for 9 months and deal with all the other issues a man perhaps less enlightened than yourself would want to deal with. i definitely know guys who would want a girl NOT to have an abortion but would not do anything to help her once the child was here (my nephew's father). and you clearly can't put restrictions on the father's abortion rights i.e. only if you promise to take care of him/her.
ALSO i hate that men feel so entitled to make decisions about women's bodies. i mostly direct this at congress and the conservatives. i don't agree with aborting all willy nilly every time you forget a condom, but i also don't agree with it not being an option. that's how people got botched abortions and ended up ruining their bodies.
but you are right that fathers should know. that doesn't mean they will necessarily have a voice.
*high five*
I agree!!!! I always felt that women should tell the father *unless they don't know whose it is and well they are aborting for that reason* but hey some women can be scandalous!!!!
very good argument.. there will be some who might tell you HELL TO DA NAW.. but you make valid points.. now although some men may say don't abort.. they don't step up to the plate either and take care of their responsibilities..
I agree. I don't see that being a decision that only one person(of the two involved) can make.
Still I wonder what percentage of abortions are actually against the wishes of the father? Just out of curiosity..
Good post. Food for thought.
Interesting arguments Epsi.
I like that you said its ethically wrong, and made it a question of ethics. I am taking ethics now, and find your arguments interesting and compelling.
Hmm, food for thought. I hadn't formed an opinion on it, but have thinking similar to yours.
WOW, deep...of course it's a personal decision and discussion and some people take it lightly...personally I would talk to him..hear what he has to say and weigh my options but that's just me
I think ur speaking for a different man then most women are use to. After years of abortion or doing it alone it has become a womens right to choose and will be until someone else decides to give a shit. I tell you one thing you never see in the news, men protesting about not being notified about an abortion or their right to choose. Why do u think that is? Nice Post
Ironically, I had this conversation with my sister a couple weeks ago. I agree that the man has every right to know about the pregnancy and the intention to abort it. While the final decision will always be the woman's, the man should be allowed knowledge because as you poignantly stated, he helped create it.
You've raised some really good points and you're articulation of this subject was greatly portrayed. Many a man could learn from you.
I believe that if the man really loves a woman but she knows that is is unwilling (for whatever reason) to have a child then it can be cruel to let him know. It can make a really difficult decision even harder and potentially cause bigger problems. But that's a case by case thing. I had an abortion once and the stupidest move was telling him. He hounded me everyday and to this day (years later) calls me a baby-killer.
That said, if you ever found out that a woman aborted your child without telling you the best bet is to terminate the relationship. Her not telling you something like that indicates that she doesn't trust you, or that one of you is crazy. And no good will come of staying together.
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