Me:(As my hand strikes her face) THIS IS A MAN'S WORLD!!!
Ok. I just want to hit someone and scream that. I just think it would be funny. I considered doing that to the cashier at CVS here at school. I had the urge to do it. Dont know why, I just wanted to.
Anyways... back to why I wanted to blog. I was at dinner with Cnel this past Friday. We got into a convo about one of my exes. I had this one ex who I had dated from junior year of high school until the first month of college. I was explaining to him that she likes to date guys with a "story".
What I mean by a story is that their life has to have some sort craziness to it. They had to have a rough childhood. Or they want to a gangster. She grew up in the suburbs and lead a normal life. There were not ghettos, no drugs, no abuse. She had everything she ever wanted. Now she dates guys who I guess fit some sort of fantasy. I do not know what it is.
She used to ask tons of questions. She also would try and copycat whatever I would do. Because I did not have a lot of parental supervision, I could stay out all night. I was fiercely independent. So she would try to pull that with her parents. It just would not fly.
I do not get it. Why would kids from suburbs want to grow up how I grew up? I mean it was rough. There were times I went hungry. We were broke. I lived without electricity. I slept in bus stations and lived with random people. I never had any of the things I wanted and barely got what I needed. I wish I grew up cookie cutter. I wish I lived in the suburbs and had all my need sufficiently taken care. I wish I grew up with a mom and dad. I wish I had grown up with a stable parent. These kids don't realize that those of us from the ghettoes and poor neighborhoods dreamed of having half of what they got.
These kids just do not get it. The life we lived is not cool. There is nothing "hard" to it. There are no awards for growing up poor. Growing up poor is not cool. It really is not. Ladies, it is not interesting. Ity is not fascinating to grow up poor or anything. That hard scrabble life aint cool at all. It really isn't. That shit is for the birds.
9 comments:
ISSUES. i don't get it. i grew up in the burbs. whenever dated a guy w/o a similar background it def. wasn't for those reasons. i just thought he was cute or liked his personality. your ex-girl watches too much tv.
yeah, that's kinda random... i grew in the suburbs of Bmore and i know what the city is like (not to say ih ave anything against the city, but i'm a county chick) so i don't understand y someone would date someone for that reason or because they have a 'story'.
r u home for spring break?
~DD
What I love about you is that you've taken what you've came out of and built on it, not used it as an excuse or a sad story. You've got strong character, not because of where you've come from, but in spite of it.
I've used you as an example before and I'm sure I'll do it again. I thank you for who you are, and as you know, I'm deeply proud of you.
I've been poor before. Lived in poverty for what seemed like forever. Aint no shameness in my poor, but I don't want to go back there ever again.
Being/growing up poor brings out the worst in people because then they'll do anything to survive.
Don't ever be poor in Spirit, though.
Wow, your ex was 'special'.
Cuz Cookie cutters, as you so eloquently call them, crave an identity.
And Like Jameil said...they watch too much HBO.
I wouldn't call the lives lived by our prep school comrades normal, as if the lives lived by those with lesser means were less normal. I'd just say that they lived a seperate reality, and when the realities converged there was a fuller picture of the real world.
Everyone has a story, but we should seek to write the next chapter on our lives based on the desire to live purposefully and not under pretenses.
And yes the hard knock life is sometimes glamorized, but only the strong survive.
i think its what so...wise...sistah said, the crave identity...or the fast life, or think its fun and exciting....you can have it...I feel you...i didn't grow up in the ghetto per sea...but it wasn't all gravy either...I think I can say I am urban, not surburbs not ghetto but in between both extremes...
I don't get that...my BF (wow its really new so I cna't believe I just typed that) grew up very "posh" as he says...and doesn't really "get" it either...I am the first NON-Montgomery/Potomac young woman he has ever dated and he is the FIRST non-PG/DC guy I have dated...
its been interesting to say the least...
I don't know why...maybe they secretly feel like they had it to easy...who knows...
but I can feel this post...
I think that not only do "Cookie Cutters" crave an identity, they might feel (or be made to feel) that their reality isnt relative.
Or, perhaps, she was a "Captain Save A Ho": one of those people who feel the need to rush in and "rescue" someone?? Well, maybe not, lol.
But I do concur with Cnel when he said:"I'd just say that they lived a seperate reality, and when the realities converged there was a fuller picture of the real world."
I wish more people understood that.
L
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