Back on Top of My Game

Any pessimists I ain't talked to them,
Plus, I ain't have no phone in my apartment.
Let's take 'em back to the club.
Least about an hour I would stand on line,
I just wanted to dance.
I went to Jacob an hour after I got my advance.
I just wanted to shine.
Jay's favorite line: "Dog, in due time"
Now he look at me, like "Damn, dog, you where I am"
A hip hop legend.
I think I died in an accident, cause this must be heaven.

Kanye West - Touch The Sky


Hey Blogger fam!! I am baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack!! I had to take week long hiatus. Life has been very hectic for me so let me update you all.

I am back at school now for RA training. I work for "The Establishment"!! Who would have thought that the guy who spent more time ducking RAs would become one? I have been up here at school since last Sunday. Training has been very busy. We have all kinds of lectures and presentations to deal with any array of things that may come up. It really keeps ne busy. But I like it though. I really think I can this RA thing well. My building theme is called "The Grammy Family" Each apartment is going to be a different winner from the most recent Grammy Awards. My building is goign to be tight. I also like the people on my RA team. They are all cool. It helps that I used to room with one, and two others were my former RA.But I like my team, almost too much. There are some fine awomen there I am constantly flirting with them all. Even the one with the boyfriend has caught a flirtatious comment or two (and she is the sexiest of them all to me with them thick thighs of hers. She is white girl kinda built like a sista. The white dudes dont know what they have ;) The Asian girl on my team let it be known that she likes dark meat BUT I dont think that it helped that I told her I knew she was Korean because Koreans own all the stores in my neighborhood. Oh well. But I am soooooooooooo happy to be back at school. I definitely needed to get out my house and be more productive.

I found my strength during RA training. I do the scenarios dealing with sexual assualt very very well. The women who pretended to be sexually assaulted said I had a way of making them want to talk to me (one of the women who said that was the sexy girl on my RA team). One girl said if I talked to her in real life, I could get her to tell me anything I wanted, even if it wasnt related to the scenario. I think she was trying to holler. But I was surprised that the sexual assualt scenarios were my strong points. You would think that being male would make a victim uncomfortable. I guess not.

I feel on top of my game. My mood is up, my spirits are buoyed. I feel marvelous. I feel as if I can handle any situation. As if I have been through the fire. I have not talk to my ex for about a week (Im gonna stop calling her "her" and just keep it real. She is my ex). I have not got to calling her. I have had time but I have chosen to not talk to her. If she wants to talk to me, she can hit me up. I have my cell phone now. But I refuse to let her dictate how I feel. I refuse to let her beat me up with the fact that I left. I may have left and made a mistake but now I am trying to atone for that mistake. Shou should have been there supporting me instead of trying to hurt me with that. So now I have taken back my emotions. I choose how I feel. No one can make feel anything I dont want to feel. I love her and I wish we could get back together but I am just not gonna put up with it.

I am getting used to being single. Fo a while I couldnt not call her my ex. Now I can. Everyday I habdle being by myself a lil better than the day before. I just take this single thing day by day. I am doing really well.

I realize something: I dont have a mentor. I dont have a male figure that I can talk to. No one I can look up to. I dont have that guy that I go to whenever I have problems. I have older male role models but not anyone who I would feel comfortable talking to about my personal problems. They are too old for me to really relate to. I can tell my mother these things but she doesnt get them at times. I have to find me a mentor.Just a Black male in my life who can be supportive but let grown into my own. That male bond has been missing in my life.

But now, I feel on top. I am gonna touch the sky.