She got kids
And I don't know if I'm ready to give
Them the things that they need to live
'Cause if we become more than just friends what I do for her I gotta do for them kids
She got kids
And I just wanna make sure this is
more than just some sexual trip
See all I wanna do is prevent those kids from getting hurt again
Lyfe - "She Got Kids"
I am not feeling the situation I am in. One of the women I am seeing has two children. She is an older woman (at least older than me.).I have never been in the the situation before. So I am trying to play it by ear.
The problem is that she told me about one child but did not tell me about her younger son. I guess I should have asked a few more questions and all. But I feel she should have been a little bit more open about it. Now I am curious to know what else is she hiding. She should have told me from jump. So now I am reconsidering. Me and her have only been cool for a month and a half. I have not really talked about my family. Yet I do feel that was dishonest of her not to tell me from jump. I did not discuss it because I want to wait
Now I met the kids yesterday. We decorated one of her Christmas trees. I did not feel comfortable being over there with the kids. The oldest was grilling me. The boy stepped all on my coat. I wanted to yoke his little @$$ up. He was rude. Then the boy kept bringing up the ex. I am not jealous but that was rude. When my mother was dating, I would never do anything like that. She would have put that whupping on my bottom. But teh boy was being realy rude. She tried to check him but he would not listen. I told her on the way to dropping me off that her kids are a bit much and that we need to have a one on one discussion.
I do not know if I can do this. I mean I am not trying to wife her up or anything. I leave Erie in May after graduation and I let her know that. But I may still have to deal with the kids if I continue to deal with her. What am I getting myself into????
10 comments:
Noooooo. Meeting the kids? Why do that with someone who's already told you that there's no future. Oh and the rudeness? No ma'am.
Kids for me have never been the issue. It's the issues surrounding the kids that are... well, the issue. Do you and your baby mama get along? How do the children behave? are they ok with you dating? How old are they? What kinda parent are you? What is my role in all of this?
The complicated nature of the situation is why I've only done it once. But it's really only worth the forethought if it's someone you're investing in a future with.
Where is the kids' father(s)? Are they deceased, alive, deported? (LOL). You know my humor...
How old are these kids?
How old is she?
She should have explained to them from the beginning that it's not nice to be rude and inconsiderate of other people.
Has she asked you for anything - that maybe she could use for the children, too? Like money, etc.? And she may never ask you for anything, but...
If you're not ready to be a father in any way - biological, step, or god - then don't.
Problem solved.
Didn't I tell you Happy Holidays already? LOL.
"One of the women I am seeing"
dang how many women are you seeing...lol???
sorry I'm nosey
La - Its my first time and I feel like im getting schooled!!
Hoodoo - She has never asked me for anything. I am glad because I would not give shit. Not my kids. Will never even be my stepkids.
Ebonne - I am single so I date around
Change your number and get ghost! No sense wasting her time or yours!
SON.
Strike #1... She mentions one crumb snatcher and conveniently forgets the other.
Strike #2... She intro's you to the kids after a month and some change. And during a holiday family moment, no less.
Strike #3... See 1 & 2. No, no wait... SHE GOT KIDS!! What the hell you need that drama for, Young Epsi? You're a vibrant young man, and this is too much. Bail baby. ASAP.
You're getting yourself into something too deep. :)
Umm # 1 dishonesty that's not what's hot on the street.
Um #2 family time with someone your not exclusive with that's not what's hot on the street.
Um # 3 baby momma's are not what's hot on the street.
Sigh...so many observations.
#1 Ya'll been kicking it for only a month and you're meeting the kids?
#2 How does a broad forget to mention having a second kid? That's some shit people usually get right the first time around.
#3 Run from this situation ASAP...it ain't worth being on "Maury" in about a year.
You are soooooo much wiser than my stupid ass brother and his trampy girlfriend with 3 kids--all with different fathers and one unknown.
I think you are doing the right thing with the one on one convo. It is hard enough to date someone with kids, but then to have deal with a tense situation with unruly children is even worse. Go with you Gut, my friend.
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