I am not much of a churchgoing fellow. I go about 3-4 times a year (never on Christmas or Easter). Also, I am not the biggest gospel music fan. I hate to say it, but I just do not be feeling it.
However, there is one gospel song that hits me hard. Whenever I hear it, I feel choked up. The song called "I Need You To Survive". I remember the first time I heard it...
I was visiting my friend Jessica once during my junior year. I did not want to spend the weekend in Erie so I went to visit her at Pitt-Johnstown. Plus, she asked me to come see her sing at her church. I told her I am allergic to Jesus. She laughed and said that comment was even more reason to come.
After spending the weekend drinking and attempting to fornicate with her friends, I go to church with her. Jessica, being a white girl, went to the most Black church I have EVER been in. It felt like I was in Atlanta, not northern PA.
So the chorus gets up and starts to sing. And they start singing the song. I feel slightly emotional as I hear the words. As the chorus continues to sing, I get even more emotional as I sit and listen. I feel myself start to shed a tear. I quietly, in this church, start to weep slightly. I bowed my head and felt myself connect to God. On the inside I guess I felt myself open up. I was receptive to the message of the song. It really seemed to fit how I view my relationships with other people and God
I never "caught" the Spirit before. I always thought it was fake. But I guess for me, maybe that was a moment I caught it. Maybe for me, the Spirit is not dancing and shouting. The Spirit is a quiet opening of my heart to the message being shared. It is a introspective, reflective moment in which I feel that God has spoken to me. I do not feel extreme joy. I don't speak in tongues and break dance in church. I feel open and receptive. I feel as if God had spoken to me.
6 comments:
I need you to survive is a touching and emotional song!
MAN!!!!
I've never been one much for church or gospel myself. church I go to when I need it, and gospel, I'm with you, a lot of times I just don't feel it.
And I won't even begin to comment on the spirit either....let's just say we probably see eye to eye.
But this song is the TRUTH! One of the times I went to church I was all upset and what not and they played this song and it was...inexplicable how much this song helped. I don't know why exactly. It is just beautiful and it touched my soul. Of course, I was already crying, so I can't say I was moved to tears...but this is my favorite gospel song too!
I'll have to look the song up, I've never heard it.
This made me smile.
You have experienced THE GOSPEL then brother :) I love that song as well.
I can't stand gospel... and Jameil just loves to torture me with it in the car. LOL
Dont be allergic to Jesus. I'm allergic to some church people though. Hopefully, i'll find a place that feels like home one day.
Chuuuuuch!!!
CHILE!! I LUUURVE that song! There's a Kirk Franklin song I almost have to pull off on the side of the road when it comes on in the car.
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