I have made a realization recently. It kind of just hit me.
I normally chase women who talk shit. What I mean by that is that the women I chase tend to have to outwardly display their supposed confidence. They have a sassy attitude. They always have a sarcastic retort to something I say. They always have to challenge me, question me. There always has to be some kind of tug-of-war. Most women I chase seem to always need to put their confidence on display.
But what I have realized is that those women have to stunt for everyone are not confident. They have the worst self-image issues ever. What I thought was confidence was really a cry for attention. The need to be sarcastic and witty is not confidence. It shows that you must always put someone or something down in order to feel good. Sarcasm is not confidence. If you feel good about yourself, there is never a need to rub it in. It just shows in your actions.
I guess i realized this because right now I am seeing a young woman who is not loud with her "confidence". She has a quiet self-assurance that I appreciate. She is never abrasive. She does not have to always be sarcastic or witty. She just carries herself with a dignity that is calm, quiet yet present. I like this. I am not going back.
Maybe next time I blog I will tell you a little bit about the young lady, epsecially since she has me cooking. We all know I dont do no cooking ;)
4 comments:
Babe, you've learned a life lesson that many people never do. This is one of my favorite posts.
My man,
OMYLORD I feel you 115% almost every woman I delt with on that romantic level has done that. I mean like when you point out their crap they get idiotic and defensive and instead of seeing it as helpful advise they begin to act simple. Its like this the hardest thing to do is realize your faults, it is easy to point fingers. I used to always point the finger and such, but after a while that gets old.
You are a mature young brotha...
LoL have I heard about this chick?
"Quiet self assurance" eh? That's what all of them need to have.
that's an amazing observation and i agree, although it's applicable to both men and women.
in the meanwhile, don't tell us anything about ya girl. keep that to yaself. don't jinx it.
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