My Faith

Someone was surprised when they heard that I am a spiritual person. And I am not surprised this person felt this way.

My faith is a very personal experience. It is not something that I express openly. I often do not go to church (I am very disillusioned because of the experiences I have had). However when I do go on the rare occasion, I often spend the service with my head bowed, praying on my own and ignoring the sermon. I do not feel the Holy Spirit in some of the ways that others do. I do not shout or spazz. When I do feel it, it is more of a calm call that God has put in my heart. It is often a call that moves me to improve my relationship with my fellow man. There is a drive or impetus that moves me to do something. The Holy Spirit is a call to action

I also do not talk about what I pray for when I pray. That is a private conversation that I have. Even when I pray it is a private occasion. I do not recite any words. I say whatever I have to say in my heart. It is never something that I write or share.

With others, I talk about faith. However, it is in different terms. It is always related to how I view religion's purpose in modern times. I always discuss how I view the relationship between religion, spirituality, and science. No one asks me the deeper questions about my faith. But I feel I do not need to make a public declaration. I guess because that relationship between God and me is always evolving. So explaining it would be hard.

But surprise surprise, I am a spiritual person.

Hook Me Up

"Magister*, my mother is 28."

I stare at the student who told me this. In my mind, I am hoping he is not thinking what I think he is thinking.

"My mom is also single. You should ask her out on a date. You are a nice guy and my mom likes nice guys"

I do not respond at all. I do not even know how to respond. I am flattered that the kids think that I am a good person. I know many of them look up to me. Often, they imitate me. Many of them have picked up my morning ritual of drinking tea in the morning.

However, me boning their mother will not get them an A. Not at all. I also like my job enough that I do not want to get fired for boning a parent. Many of the parents are sexy and some have even made a few passes. All I do when the parents do that is just smile.

" Magister is going to break that back! Hahahahaha! Magister is going to be your step daddy! He is going to be walking around your house naked drinking tea and eatiing pop tarts!" one 7th grade student yells. The entire 7th grade erupts. Many of the students make thrusting motions. Pandemonium ensues. It takes a few minutes for me to get them quiet.

"Thank you for the offer but I am going to have to say no. I think that would be in appropriate." It is all I can think of to say.

"I am going to tell my mom to come see you."







*magister is Latin for teacher

I Hate To Admit...

Here are 5 things that I hate to admit about myself but I know are true. This should be an interesting list.

1. I am always right
This I hear from my best friend Cnel. He says that I know everything and that I believe I am always right. We had a debate about some issues recently (He is more conservative than I am. He is Bill Cosby to my Huey Newton) and he brought that point up. I disagreed but in my heart of heart I know its true. However, I do believe it has gotten better the more mature I have gotten.

2. I am stubborn
This goes right along with the first one. If someone tries to force me to do something, I will do the total opposite, just to be an ass. It is not one of my nicer qualities at all. I have frustrated many a girlfriend with that. One specific ex still talks about it. This is something that has vastly improved with the current girlfriend. She said so the last time I talked to her :-)

Tangent
Women, praise your men. When they do something or improve on a bad habit, praise them. We really like feeling as if our efforts are appreciated. It makes us continue to improve when we see that you notice those changes.

3. I have trust issues with women
I have no clue why this is so. I cannot recall a woman who has done something terribly dishonest to me. I have not been cheated on (as far as I know). Yet, there are times when I find myself doubting the fidelity of the person I am with. My girlfriend nor any girlfriend I have had has ever done anything suspicious. But in the back of my mind, a thought will pop up. A little seed of doubt. It may only show for a second yet I feel bad when it comes up. I do not start checking email accounts or anything.

4. I am not athletically-gifted at all
I have played sports since middle school. I love sports and enjoyed playing them. Yet never has anyone called me athletically-gifted. As much as I try to talk a good game about my physical prowess on any playing field or in a ring, I am not gifted at all. I get by on effort and hustle when it comes to athletics. The only sport I have done where I could even remotely be honest and call myself gifted is boxing. I had good footwork, quick hands and could take a punch. Other than that, I have been fronting my whole life.

5. I may never grow a full face of hair
I truly what to have a beard. I really do. But as of now, I cannot grow one. There are kids in high school who grow more facial hair than me! So sad. No one wonder the parents of my students confuse me with other students.

Today is....

TODAY IS MY BIRTHDAY!!! I am 22 and I love life. It gets no better!!

Shout out to all my family and friends. You are the best. I always remember that there is hope in the unseen.