Thursday, August 11, 2005

Doubts Part 2

I have been thinking again. I recently had a conversation with an old friend. My friend attends church on a regular basis. I do not. Somehow we got on the subject of religion. She was talking about how strong her faith is and all. I told her I am questioning not just my faith, but faith in general.

Now I am not saying that I am going to become an atheist and all. I just have questions and these keep coming up. How can atheist be so sure that there is no God or gods? How can Christians, Buddhists and so on be so sure that what they are studying is the true path?? How can evolution account for us having feelings and emotions, religion?? Could it be possible that evolution only accounts for a small part of how the world came to be? Can evolution be God's tool?? I fear that I will spend my whole life dedicated to a religion just find out it was wrong. I am afraid to do that. My friend told me that I think too much. I try to make everything fit into a logical box and that life and faith does not fit into the logic box. To me, I cannot blindly accept something without proof. I need proof about whether God does or does not exist.

I have also been thinking about my path in life. I know what I want to do. I want to be an archaeologist who is remembered until the field of archaeology doesn't exist. I have to be the best because since I am Black, being good or great just does not cut it in this world. What I am talking about is my personal life. Will get married and have a family?? How do I reconcile that with my desire to travel and see the world? I know that there are very few women who will put up with a husband that travels all the time. I hope to leave a legacy in this world thorugh having children but I do not now how strong that desire is if I had to choose between a family or a career. These ae just some of the thoughts that are running through my head.

1 comment:

CNEL said...

And the Bible says in Hebrews, Chapter 11, Verse 1, "Faith is the substance of things hoped for, evidence of things not seen." Now that is a scripture which I have remebered when I've remembered nothing else. I myself consider myself more spiritual than religious. I attend services occasionally, not because I distrust myself or my faith, but because I I find church services to be too political. Services aren't about praise and worship of God, but instead about people watching. While the Bible doesn't answer everything, I still like to think of it as God's love letter to us. While preacher's don't know everything, I think of them as his servants, here to teach us. I don't believe in complete blind faith. The best use of your spiritual self is belief in God, but also a belief in logic and reason. While religion doesn't solve anything, you have to believe in something, or else life won't mean anything at all.