Just One Of Those Days

I am having a bad day today. I do not know why. I have just noticed that my mood was a gloomy. People called me today and they even noticed. Nothing has gone wrong or anything. I just feel grumpy. Hopefully, it will pass.

Christmas Break

This break has been very interesting. It is been busy yet relaxing so far. This is because I have been able to move at my own pace. I did my shopping and all without stressing out. This break has been great!!!

Yet some interesting developments have happened. My ex-girlfriend up and brought me a Christmas gift. We are on decent terms but I was not gonna get her a gift. So being the decent person that I am, I went out today and got her one. I got a stuffed animal. Something simple and neutral. She better be thankful because I did not have to get her a gift. This gift thing between me and her was sprung on me. The second development is that my uncle and mother are arguing. My uncle embarrase my 18 year old cousin (his daughter) in front of my mother in my mother's house. My mother wasn't having the disrespect in her house. She pulled my uncle up. He got all upset and now he wont let my cousin see us. He is being his typical asshole self. Oh well. I will let my mother deal with it. My feelings aint hurt. I just miss seeing CeCe though,

You all out there are lucky. I am in a lovely mood!! I just want to sing and dance and all that goodness. I feel so goood that I posted twice.

Poetry

You can see the story of my life in my daughter’s eyes
And in order to know about me, you gotta learn through her
If I die, then I might even return through her
She’s like The Giver, the memories of me are stored in her.

Everyday that I wake up, I feel so blessed
My daughter has been with me through every trial and test
On them days that I wake up with a pain in my chest
My baby always quick to get my drugs outta the medicine chest
She goes to the blender and makes me a fruit cocktail
She knows I need something in order to take this cocktail.
Because I don’t get it, then my health will fail
And we both don’t want the AIDS disease to prevail.

On them days when I feel as if I am gonna die
And I lay on the floor, break down, and cry
She comes, lays next to me, and kiss my cheek
And she tells me I should never let things get this bleak
Then I look at her and say something oh so true:
“If it wasn’t for having you, I wouldn’t even be here.
Because after getting this disease I woulda burned in my despair and fear
And it is you who keeps me smiling ear to ear
And it is you who keeps me from believing the lies
And it is you who tells me to be thankful to be one who has survived
And it is you who essentially keeps me alive.
And it is you who is gonna store the story of my life in your eyes.

An Important Lesson

There is something that my friend James told me yesterday that struck me as poignant. Here it goes:

" When someone shows you the type of person that they are, accept it."

When he said this, a light bulb went off.

Lately

Lately, I have been busy. I am keeping up with my classes and all. One class is a repeat because I got only a D+ instead of the C I need. So I have been busting my ass for it. The other ones have been coming along pretty well actually. Paleoanthropology is going to be a pain only because Doc has taught the first part of the class. This means I need to know every detail in the world abot what he taught. Oh well. That is the nature of the beast.

In the other arenas of my life: I got into an argument with Medora. It was because I told her I get frustrated with what she says soemtimes. I hate when she says she isn't beautiful. She is. Inside and out. Very few people can be like that; have beautiful personalities and look beautiful. So I told her I was frustrated, she got upset because she thought I was yelling and angry at her., I was more upset at how she felt than at her. We had a deep convo about it and all is well. I am gonna continue to support her and tell her she is beautiful, no matter what she says.

I spoke at AIDS Awareness Day this past Thursday. I read a poem and gave a presentation on what the treatment options are and how much they cost. It went really well. A woman with AIDS came in and spoke. She was deep. She talked about her experience and all. She even hit something that I did not expect. She talked about how it affected the Native American population. I never heard AIDS talked about from that perspective. It was respective.

My poetry group, the DPS, met last nite. It was good. Not a large crowd but enough people came and it was nice. I read one new poem, the one I read at AIDS Awareness nite. I gotta start writing again. I have just been sooo busy that I have not had the time. I am gonna start making time.

That is I have to say. Peace out and have a great day.