Damn!!!

Listening to: Jagged Edge - Walked Outta Heaven


Homegirl from the last post had to cancel our outing for tomorrow. Something came up. I guess we have to try again.

DAMNIT!!!! I MISS HER!!! I really do. I miss talking to her until I almost fall asleep on the phone. I miss the softness of her voice telling me to go to sleep because she knows I am tired. I miss her laugh. I miss her tears. I miss laying next to me. I miss kissing her in the rain. I miss pinching her ass. I miss how she gave me "the look" whenever I took an "extra step" when it came to being a lil too blunt. I miss hearing her say "I love you". I miss her flirting with me. I miss her winks. I miss her laying in my bed. I miss her hair and them sexy long legs. I miss our signals when it was time. I miss cussing out her roommates when they got outta line. I miss all of that yet I am trying to hang out with some other female. I got issues.

I think I did walk outta heaven. At least I can admit it.

What A Way To Begin The Morning

I wake up to the cats pulling my doo-rag off and scratching me all over my head and playing in my locks at 6 in the morning. Is this some sort of karmic retribution for some event I do not know about???

Other than the battle with my animals in the wee hours of the morning, my day is fine. I have yet to eat breakfast (its 1pm) but it is going well so far. I feel good so I just cannot complain.

I have a date on Wednesday. I guess you can call it a date. I dont know what it is. A female friend that I know for sure is attracted to me asked me to go to the movies with her. I said yes because being unemployed offers ample opportunities to go out. I hope it goes well. The young lady has a nice personality and she definitely looks good. But is it really a date?? Or are we just hanging out?? I dont know. Uggghhhh!! Stupid ass titles always have confused me.

On This Thursday

Last night was great. I called her last nite. We talked about the situation. I believe that she is taking it better. She has a better understanding about what I feel. We even laughed and just had a plain ole convo.

Today was fun also. I was on the radio today. An organization that I used to be a board member of asked that I do this radio interview with someone else. It is on Towson University radio station. The Clear Reception show was the show that we were on. Check out the link on Tuesday to hear me!! But it went well. It was my first time in a radio station. Gave me insight into what I should possibly do when I start my radio show. Then I came home and went practicing my driving with my uncle. Which surprised me because he is a lil too nervous when I am driving. He was cool while I was driving. He remained calm.

Today was lovely. Just how I like it.

Get My Mind Right

I have been trying to stay busy in order to not think about my situation. Friday, my best friend Danny, his cousin, and his gf went out. First, me and Danny stopped at Morgan State in order to visit my best friend Landon. Me and Landon have been cool since 5th grade. We met Danny and another cat name Jimal in high school and we have all been friends since.

Back to the story.

Me, Danny, and his cousin go to Morgan and check on Landon. It was good to see Landon. The last time I saw him we were tryna to prevent some dude from his school from gettin his ass kicked by a bouncer at Hammerjacks. So we just were all in the parking lot talking. Landon is doing well. He has a woman and he is getting a 4.0. So his grind is at full speed. We leave Morgan. While going to get Danny's woman, we have a heart to heart about my situation. He understands where I am coming from. He feels the exact same way that I do in his relationship. He just didnt leave though. But he sympathizes. We scoop his woman and drive around. We hit the harbor and me and Danny start acting goofy. We saw his gf's friends. They were checking me out but I am damaged goods so I didnt even attempt to holler. We all kicked it and then they dropped me off at my house.

Today, I went to my mother's best friend's wedding. I left the house looking sharp as shit!! I was on my grown and sexy. The ceremony was nice. It started late ( when do weddings ever start on time) but it was a good ceremony. Made me want to have a wedding!!

The reception was the bomb. I was dancing my a$$ off!!!. I had the older women tryna holler and everything. My mother was hating though. She would pop up and be like, "Let me introduce you to my son. He still in college." DONT BE HATING!!! I danced with my mother at the reception and everyone thought it was cute! I dance with some "cousins" of mine. I was just everywhere. Some older woman grabbed my butt. I must have made her day when I danced with her. It was just a good ole time with some bomb food.

I called her when I got home and she kinda laid me out. She told me that I gave up and did not try and work things out. I can see where she is coming from. I told her my problem and he said lets break up. I kinda ran from her. But I feel like I can't deal with the issue if I am with her. But I am not even sure I made the right decision either. It is hard for me. I need advice

The situation boils down to this: I found a person I would like to spend the rest of my life with, I just dont want the rest of my life to start now.

Let's Cut The Bullshit

Lately I have been fronting as if everything is going perfectly fine. Well it is not.

I just did not want to admit what was going down. I felt that if I cannot admit it to myself, how can I admit it to my blogger fam. So I went on like nothing was wrong. Plus the male stubborness kicked in too.

So me and the girlfriend ended it last night. I can say that this was my fault. I have some real commitment issues. After being with one person for a while, I start to get that feeling that I need to leave. It always starts out small and then it continues to grow until I start becoming emotionally distant. I had to end it though. I could not keep doing this to her. It was just wrong.

So now I miss her like crazy. I have bumpin Toni Braxton "Another Sad Love Song". I just feel like doo doo without my other half.

Poetry For Your Ears

I am 100 posts old!!! Yay!!!! Let me quit tripping.

But seriously, I cannot believe that I even have 100 posts up on this thing. It started as a way for me and some friends in college to post jokes and some other stuff. It was meant to be just a passing thing. But now my blog has grown into so much more. I have come on contact with some very colorful people (literally and figuratively). I write about some serious ish right here. Some days I have lost it, most days I just write and reflect.


I really dont know how to celebrate 100 post so I am going to wing it. What are some things that would improve my blog?? What can I do to make it better? I am taking all suggestions. Also, do you have any questions to ask Mr. Epsilonicus??? Anything you want to know that hasn't been revealed??? Ask me a question readers and I will answer it to the best of my ability. I am serious. But thats all I have.



100 Posts BIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIAAAAAAAAATTTTTTCHHH

They Must Be Trippin'

Financial aid is tripping right now!! I just got my award letter for the upcoming year. However, my award letter cut out 2 grants that I had last year. This left me confused so I decided to call.

Well, this is what they told me. They told me that my EFC (Expected Family Contribution) had gone up to $10,000. Thus they cut off the grants. The lady at the financial aid office told me there is nothing I can do about it.

I am soooo pissed. I dont even know how my EFC jumped that high. My mom still works the same job as she did last year making the same exact money. So how did my EFC jump from $0 to 10,000. Do they know who I am??? I will cut up. So i am going to keep at trying to recover these two grants. They definitely would not hurt my pockets to have them.

On The Grind

I stiil am searching for a job. It is really frustrating not working. Boredom is killing me at the moment. I do have a meeting with someone today at noon. It is a friend of my mother's named Dana. I hope he can give me the hookup because being broke is taxing on my insanity.

Other news in my life:
My godbrother turned 21 yesterday!! This means we are going out. Now I know I don't have money but I got a lil something saved up for this. We have links to several clubs where we can get in free. Plus, with my ability to use the "art of persuasion", I can find some lovely female to buy my drinks. I am good like that!!!

Why is one of my neghbors tryna holler?!?!? She saw me getting into a car with my friend Dave. Homegirl was checking me out. She gave me the "I approve" look. I have seen her before but she never really gave me a look. I guess since the hair is longer now, she wanna piece of this. Naw shorty!!! Back then you didn't want me. Now Im hot, you all on me!!

Last Thursday I hit the club with Dave. Well, we first went to a spot and did some poetry. These duded we met there were pretty cool. It was small so we did not stay long. Then we went to college night at Baha. That was aight. Some dudes from high school were there. It turned out to be a decent night. I did have one bad thing though. One girl I guess thought that punching me in the balls with her ass constitutes dancing. No!!!! That is not dancing!!! That almost sidelined me for the whole night but since I am a soldier, I toughed it out and left homegirl to butt-punch someone else.

Just To Let You Know

Right now I am watching the Tyra Banks show. I am bored and it must really be that serious. But I like her show for some odd reason. I just attracts me to the tv when it comes on.

I had an interview yesterday and it went really well I guess. They asked me 80 million questions, sometimes like 5 at the same time. But they seemed as if they liked me. Plus I got an email from some other place too. So the job process is starting to look up. I need a job. I can't just sit up in the house and do nothing. Plus my pockets hurt sitting here!!! Lol!!!

The gf is back from Europe. That is a good thing. I missed not being able to talk to her and all. o we stayed up until the wee hours of the morning talking. When I get my job I cannot keep doing this!!! Lol!!

Ms Wise tagged me so I felt as if I should oblige. Here we go:

1. If you could be doing what you really want to be doing for a living, what would it be?

I would be either teaching, writing a book of poetry, doing archaeology somewhere in Europe or North Africa, retired on the island of Capri in Italy running a lil corner store.

2. If you could slap the shit out of any famous person, alive or dead, who would it be?

50 Cent, George Bush, Andy Milonakis, Bam Morris, Dick Cheney, Tom Cruise. I really cannot stand Tom Cruise. I want to punch him in the back of his head.


3. What's the dumbest decision you've made in the past 5 years?

Dating my ex-gf. We have been done for almost 2 years and she still is causing trouble.


4. Give up one for a year: (good) sex or (good) music.

This is definitely hard. I would have to say sex though. I need my music. I think I would lose my mind I had to give up music. I can live without sex.


5. Dudes, would you rather have a big dick or a great sense of humor?

I would rather have a sense of humor. That is what gets you the sex. Penis size is relative anyway. What is big for one may be small for someone else. You just can't please them all.

6. So you've been invited to an all expense paid Blogger Prom in The Bahamas. You're sitting at the bar on the beach. Which blogger do you want to join you for hours of good convo?

Female bloggers:
1. DSTcretion - I like to keep "fine" company!!! lol
2. Duck - I love having great convo with intelligent and talented people
3. So...Wise - She makes a great wing-woman. Help a brother out on his pimpin!!

Male bloggers:
1. Sherlon - He seems to be real chill
2. ShawnQT - He knows how to party
3. Ironman - He can be the DJ
4. Cnel - He has been my best friend since 5ht grade. I cant leave without him.

7. Which blogger would you most like to cuddle with on the beach? (and don't defer to your current signif other either. Infidelity won't count against you. Duh.)

DSTcretion and Honey Libra. Both seem like they could definitely cuddle.


8. You're going on a 5 hour road trip...which 5 CDs do you bring?

1. Nightmare Before Christmas Soundtrack - Say sumthin!!!!!
2. John Legend - Lets Get Lifted
3. Kanye West - College Dropout
3. My Down South mix cd
4. Jon B - Cool Relax
5. Talib Kweli - Beautiful Struggle

9. Would you rather bury your children young or have your children bury you young?

I would rather have my children bury me. They deserve a chance to live life to its greatest potential.

10. What's your biggest insecurity?

My left eye has a slight twitch. It only twitches rarely. I cussed my ex out for laughing at it.
Failure. I refuse to fail. I try so hard not to fail its ridiculous.

11.What's the first blog you read every day...or however often you read them? (And I swear to God, don't be saying mine just cuz I'm the one asking...unless of course you really mean it. lol)

Cnel's blog. He is in Italy right nowa nd he has been constantly updating. Check it out!!!!

12. When's the last time you peed your pants?

I was prolly in elementary school. I can't remember

13. Which was better, your first kiss or your first pay check?

My first paycheck, especially because I vaguely remember my first kiss!!!

14. Do you have kids? Want kids?

I dont have kids but I want them. Later!!! I want a damn tribe of kids!!!

16. Live the rest of your life without your eyebrows or your fingernails?

Without eyebrows. I can just draw them back on. My hands are too important. I do so much with them.

17. What makes you angry?
1. Fat people who wear clothes that are too small
2. Asking me the same question over and over.
3. Ignorance
4. Poverty
5. People who give up.
6. Lovers who are passive
7. People telling me I can't succeed (Nothing drives me like proving someone wrong - There goes that Kanye West type arrogance)

18. What makes you horny?
1. Gary's Baby Making Music volumes I, II, and III
2. A woman who knows what she wants and is willing to get it.
3. Kissing my neck and ear
4. My gf perfume
5. Sex in places other than my bedroom (esp. places like Vicky Secret- thats a whole 'nother story. let me know if you wanna hear)
6. Legs and breast - have a story about breasts too

19. What makes you nervous?
1. Drunk people
2. Dr. Adovasio exams
3. Snakes

20. What makes you smile?
1. My girlfriend
2. My lil brother telling jokes. - He is funny as hell
3. My roommates
4. Looking at my friend Stacey's booty
5. My bottle Ecco Domani Pinot Grigio
6. Hearing poetry
7. Performing poetry
8. Exploring
9. The fact that I can achieve anything. (Im dead serious!!)

I am tagging everyone. If you stop by on my blog, then that means you are tagged IT b*tches!!! Hahahahahahahah!!!!

What A Weekend!!

This weekend was the best way to kick off the summer.

My roommate Kevin from Pittsburgh came down and we went to HFStival. HFStival is a 2-day festival that happens every year at Merriweather Post Pavillion in Coumbia, MD. This year they had Cypress Hill, Matisyahu, and Kanye West perform on Saturday. You know I had to go see Kanye and Matisyahu.

So Kevin got here Saturday morning at 7 am. This meant that I had to get up at the crack of dawn to pick him up from the bus station. We come back to my house and get ready to head out at 9:30 so we can get the festival at 10am. We get there and go look around.

HFStival is not really my scene. There tends to be a lot of cats looking like this:

These types were not the majority but there were enough there. So me and Kevin just cruised throughout the festival. We took a few swinbgs at the batting cage, threw some pitches, Kevin gawked at a bunch of females. He even hollered at a sister from Howard. Kevin is your typical white guy. But he was spitting game to this Howard girl and he almost got her. We were supposed to meet her after she got off from work from the Verizon hut but we were late so I guess she pulled off. Oh well. We listened to a lot of local bands, which were good. They were mostly funk type of groups but they definitely were good.

We randomly saw a girl from our college at the festival. So me and Kevin just kicked it with her and her friends. While Kevin was spitting game to our friend Marie, I held court with the other ladies. I was just all nice and cordial. I made them laugh. I was just being nice. Cypress Hill came on. That was a very interesting performance. They had everyone gettin high by the end of their performance. I was light headed and everything. Then Kanye came on. He puts on a damn good show!!! He had everyone on their feet. I dance with the ladies during the show and 3 of them ended up kind of feeling me. Im sorry I had to disappoint, especially because one of them had a nice booty. I am just not that kind of guy. I gotta stay faithful to mines. Kevin made out with our friend from school, I played wingman. But Kanye had me throwing up my "diamond" and everything!!!!!!!!!! I was just soooooo excited to finally see one of my favorite artists in concert! Matisyahu, who is a Jewish reggae artist, put on a live performance too1 We left after his performance.

Sunday was good but not as good as Saturday. We got there at 3pm. We decided that we didnt need to get there so early. So Kevin and I just cruise around. Some random chick with a bf hollas at Kevin. Then Kevin hollers at this girl we met the day before who worked at the Starbucks stand. He slobs her down by the end of the nite. But throughout the day we just kinda chill. The performances were decent. They just werent Kanye or Matisyahu.

Overall, my weekend was great. I had a great time, with great people. Plus, I am always happy when a friend gets some play.

Urban Appreciation

I was out and about today and I made an observation.

I really love living in a city. It is such a vibrant experience. I felt like a little kid as I was riding the bus downtown. I saw an Asian guy listening to hip-hop. White people strolling down Charles Street. I watched a Native American guy talking on a cell phone. There were sidewalk shops where all kinds of insane stuff was being sold. Tons of cars everywhere. Tall buildings kissing the sky.

I love living in the city. It is full of life. All the movement makes the city itself seem alive. There is nothing you cannot find in a city. You can find anything you need in a city. Plus, there are tons of opportunities if you look in the right place. The diversity in a city just leaves me feeling amazed. I don't know. I just cannot find myself not living in a city. I need the vibrancy. I guess I am kind of rambling. You all may think I am crazy but try living in Erie PA. Its cold as hell up there. There are the same type of people there. The "city" itself is dead. It just feels as if there are no opportunities to move ahead. Just moving around made me appreciate being from a city.

Reflection of Sophmore Year

Well, Jameil has been craving drunk pictures of my roommates. So I figure that I will oblige. Some are insane. Now I was never present for this. I was the one helpin the person puke. Also, i never had to clean this up, that is why I am going to miss Shawn when he leaves. He always cleaned himself up.

Kevin, Shawn, and the beer bong

Kevin gave up sex for Lent and Stacey is making it hard for him.
Kevin & the bong

Meetin the trash can

Our kitchen
Shawn lost a fight with the couch that night


Shawn and Kevin actaully fell asleep like this

Here are the roomies (the two that count)!! I dedicate this to them and all the un times we had this year. It won't be the same without Shawn. He is transferring. Ima miss my roommate.

My Health

Last two weeks, my health has been not good. I have been to the emergency room twice this week. I am having problems with my breathing. I went the first time and they told me it may be my allrgies since I have developed them recently. Last night, I was awaken out of my sleep not being able to breathe. I was coughing and trying to catch my breath. My girlfriend woke up and had one of my roommates drive me to the emergency room. This second time they told me I may have developed asthma. My chest X-Ray showed that the distal part of my lungs are partially closed. That is scary to hear. They are not sure though so I have to visit my doctor when I go home. So I have a prescription for Prednisone and Albuterol. So i puff on that Albuterol inhaler like crazy. And both are steroids!! The Prednisone makes me slightly jumpy. When they gave it to me before I went home, it had me jumpy. I could not sleep.

This past two weeks have been difficult. Walking up the steps makes me short of breath. I cannot box. Running is not an option. Sometimes even talking makes me short of breath. I had a respiratory attack in the middle of class today and it scared the shit of me. It was embarrasing. my professor understands what happened. I cannot wait to go home and see my doctor. I cant deal with this anymore.

Girls vs Grown Women

'Girls' leave their schedule wide-open and wait for a guy to call and make plans.
'Grown women' make their own plans and nicely tell the guy to get in where he fits in.

'Girls' want to control the man in their life.
'Grown women' know that if he's truly hers, he doesn't need controlling.

'Girls' check' you for not calling them.
'Grown women' are too busy to realize you hadn't.

'Girls' try to put a man 'on lock' by using sex.
'Grown women' know that it's the sex of the mental kind that makes a man want to 'lock' you down.

'Girls' fake-moan, lay there and take the stabbing.
'Grown women' say, "Just stop", get up, get dressed and walk it out.

'Girls' are afraid to be alone.
'Grown women' revel in it--using it as a time for personal growth.

'Girls' ignore the good guys.
'Grown women' ignore the bad guys.

'Girls' make you come.
'Grown women' make you come home.

'Girls' worry about not being pretty and/or good enough for their man.
'Grown women' know that they are pretty and/or good enough for any man.

'Girls' try to monopolize all their man's time (i.e. don't want him hanging with his friends).
'Grown women' realize that a lil' bit of space makes the 'together time' even more special and goes to kick it with her own friends!

'Girls' think a guy crying is weak.
'Grown women' offer their shoulder and a tissue.

'Girls' want to be spoiled and 'tell' their man so.
'Grown women' show him and make him comfortable enough to reciprocate w/o fear of losing his manhood.

'Girls' get hurt by one man and make all men pay for it.
'Grown women' know that that was just one man.

'Girls' fall in love, chase aimlessly after the object of their affection, ignoring all signs.
'Grown women' know that sometimes the one you love, don't always love you back and move on without bitterness.


I saw this somewhere. I find it to very poignant. Take heed to it ladies.

Been A Minute

It has been a minute since I last wrote. I apologize. With my aunt's funeral and everything I have been without time. Let me update you all.

The Funeral
My aunt's service was one of the best services I have been to. The minister was good. The weather was gorgeous. It really did my aunt justice. After the service, doves were released to symbolize her leaving this life. The service was a great way to celebrate my aunt's life.

This Week
I had gotten back to school from home on Wednesday. Ever since then I have had to play catch up. I had missed a quiz and a bunch of notes. Thank God the girlfriend shares two classes with me. I just got the notes from her. My third class I had a guy give me his notes to photocopy. But I feel lost in my Field Methods class because it is mostly application and I missed the class on actually how to physically excavate. So I am watching others do it and winging it.

This Weekend
All I can say is wow!!! I threw an Old School Party Friday and it went well. We dance the night away with music spanning the 1950s all the way to 1995. I was jamming!!! I was doing the cabbage patch, the elctric slide, and all them old dances. It was a great time.

Saturday was Springfest. It is a huge festival here at my school that happens every May. The weather was a bit too c0ol to do the slip - n - slide but I did everything else. I sumo wrestled with a friend of mine. Me and my roommate Kevin did the inflatable boxing, the gladiator, the obstacle course, and the mechanical bull. I ate some good a$$ burgers. The day went well.

Then Saturday night came.

My roommate Shawn had been drinking since 1130 that morning. So he was drunk. it was about 1150 that my homegirl Stacey calls to tell me that Shawn passed out in front of her bulding and has been there for an hour. So me and Kev go get him. He is all passed out in his puke. When try to move him, he fights us. After a few minutes we get him in the building. He says he has to throw up so we let him out. Well, he falls onto a bush. So we get him back into the first floor of the building. He starts screaming at the top of his lungs. This makes the RA come out.

The RA was nice. She allowed us to try and move him. Shawn was being an ass though. She gave us 20 seconds to move him which turned into 20 mins. We got him to the landing before the third floor. Then he started cussing. She goes and calls the police since he is being difficult. Shawn then rolls down to the 1st floor (literally) and runs outside. He runs down a busy street and almost falls into it. My roomie Kevin and the RA goes after him. The police then chase him down. I satyed to make sure they did not do Shawn grimey since he had a broken hand. They put him in the car and took him to the drunk tank.He came back Sunday morning looking like $h!t!!!!!!

I will post pictures from Springfest soon.

Be Grateful

I have noticed that the people around me are not grateful. And this is one reason why I will be glad to see my family when I go home for my aunt's funeral.

I see the people I spend a lot of time with constantly complaining. "I don't have a lot of money" or " I wish I looked like this" or "School is sooooo difficult". I hate to hear these things. It seems as if no one looks at all that they have and considers themselves blessed. The have all of their needs taken care of. They are not wanting for food, water, clothes, shelter. They are going to a decent school and getting a good education. Their health is great. They have friends and family that truly loves them. Family life is going well. Why complain???

This came up last nite when someone was complaining about school . This person tends to do really well. They always study hard and get good grades. This person was complaining about why school is so hard. This would have been normal except that I have heard this same song over and over again. In my head I wanted to say, " I am going through the exact same thing as you are!! Shut up!" I did not say it because I was too sleepy to. How can you comlain when your GPA is great??

Here is my advice: look at your life and try to see the positive. Be greatful for all that you have in your life. It is definitely worth it.

Overcome With Sadness

Its Our Anniversary

Me and my boo.







Friday was me and the gf's anniversary!! Congrats to us!!! My roommate Kevin was the ultimate gentleman and decided to play chauffer for us. I will be forever greatful. We decided that we would do something fun. First we went to Applebees. Our waitress looked like the female version of my roomie Blair. Not a good thing at all. The food was great.

Then we went to laser tag. Instead of trying to be all romantic, we decided to do something very very fun. It turned out great. We were running around with a bunch of smaller kids shooting people!! What a stress relief!! I worked up a sweat. I had the highest score in 2 games. I looked like Rambro out there shooting people and doing all types of ducks, rolls, and dodges. I would make Wesley Snipes look bad!!! Lol!!! Our team won all four games. The we went back and just chilled and did the romantic part of the evening. Just me, the gf, candles, and some music.



Listening to
Tony Toni Tone!
Anniversary

Last Nite At The Club

I have two friends who graduated from my college back here visiting. I figured that we should go out and enjoy ourselves so go out and hit this spot up called Peccadilos.

The night was interesting.

I danced with only four females the whole night. The first of which was a little cutie who tried to holler. She did it with some class so I felt a little flattered. It is nice to know I am still sexy lol!!!!! Then I danced with this other chick. She was a bit on the thicker side. I am not hating on the size but her skills on the floor. She just did not have it. Then I danced with this Hispanic girl. She was a disappointment because she had a whooooooooole lot of junk but was not working it *shakes head in shame*. I danced with another girl who could actually dance.

Now back to the big girl.

She was on some ho-type shit. She was tryna kiss me after she let some other dude grope her. I told her no, I have a woman who looks waaaaaaaaay better than you. She still kept trying. So I go to back up off her then this other dude who was feeling her up came over. He was mad because he thought I was scaming on his squirrel. It was not even like that. He pissed with her and questioning her and ish. He calls 6 of his boys over. They eye me up as I walk away. They looking for me. So I bounce. I refuse to fight over a female I don't even want. I have never even been in a figh over a female in my life. I am not even going to start now. So then I see this chick as I am leaving. She all embarassed. I don't care. I am not single and she ugly anyway. Let her get felt up by an ugly dude. Sounds like a personal problem.

Cravings

I want some chicken and dumplings.

I do not know how many of you have had chicken and dumplings. I am craving some. I had eaten some at Cracker Barrel yesterday and I was surprised that they were actually good!! I was craving them and decided to get them. Now I am still craving them. I need them. It is 11pm and I want some chicken and dumplings. Mommy get me some!!!!!

Dumbing It Down

Listening To:
Chamillionaire - Ridin' Dirty

I know it is sad that I am writing an entry 1 am Sunday when I should be out partying it up.

All my life I have always had to dumb it down for people. 1st grade I was not allowed to write in cursive. The rest of elementary school I had to use smaller words so the other kids can understand. Middle school was the only time I could bask in my intelligence. High school my intelligence flew under the radar until the awards ceremony when my gpa was announced. My mother always nutured it. I had a subscription to National Geographic at 8 years old. She always gave me books to read. I still nurture it. I know a shitload of random facts. I do well in school. I have read the Bible in its entirety twice. I am currently reading a translation of the Koran. I do research for fun. All in all, I am a nerd. Yet outside of my family and close circle of friends, my intelligence has always provoked some sort of fear or jealousy (as if I am trying to use it to rule the world).

It has done this again.

Me and the gf have gotten into an argument about it. She feels that I am always flexing my "brainpower". It started when we were watching 10 Commandments. She told me she did not know the entire story of Moses. I said I was surprised. She spazzed. She talks about how I always make her feel like she is stupid. She gave a couple of examples. One was when I told her parents what happened to me in elementary school. She feels I show off my intelligence too much. To me it seems as if she gets upset whenever I celebrate how well I do. Even when I do not put others down it still seems to piss her off.

I really do not know what to do. Should I dumb it down for her?? Should I ignore it?? I think this arguement came up because she had a bad day. I don't think we would have had this arguement if she was in a decent mood. But now I feel as if I cannot say anything about what I know. What should I do???

All By Myself

My roommates have gone home for the Easter Break. This means I have the apartment all to my self!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yeah baby!!! Wild parties and all that good ish!! Sike lol! This means that it will be peaceful and quiet. I cannot wait!! It may seem lonely and all but I like the silence. It is relaxing and it provides me the time and place to meditate and think.

Me and the gf are arguing. She is mad that I was a little cranky while being sick. I was very sick earlier this week. It is not necessary to tell all the symptoms but I felt like I was going to die. I even missed that midterm (which I took today). I had asked her about the midterm. She got all upset asking me why am I trying to cheat. I did not want to know questions, just tell what was and was not covered. So I got upset at her accusing me of cheating. I just said I wont ask about it, figuring that the convo is over. Obviously not because now she is saying she does not like the attitude I carry. She claims that I carry the "i dont give a fuck" attitude. I disagree. Oh well, you cant always agree on everything.

But I am glad I got this apartment *now I start to sing* "All to myself!!!!!"

My Lovely Wekend

My weekend was great. Here is the recap:

Friday
I got the RA position!! I am very excited. This means that I can cut back on the loans and even start paying some of them off. I called my mother and she was happy. Now all my friends want to be in my building!! Hahahahaha!! I do not find out my assignment until May though. But I am happy to have the job.

I also had a prospective student stay the night on Friday. His name is Sean and he was from Syracuse NY. He was a quiet lil guy. My roomies took him to this Battle of the Bands thing at Penn State Behrend. Then I took him to a 90s hip hop party. He had a good time there. I got some girls to dance with him. These girls gave hime the most seductive dance ever. He had this big ass grin on his face!! It was funny. Then this girl approached me. Here is the convo:

Girl: (while we are dancing) Hi! My name is Christina. What is yours??
Me: (confused) My name is Gary. How are you??
Christina: I am good.
Me: Are you a perspective student?
Christina: Yes
Me: Where are you from??
Christina: I am from Rochester. What are you doing tonite?
Me: I am going back to my place. I do have a girlfriend.
Christina: You won't next fall.

So I was shocked as shit!! She had some nerve!! This is what she had going against her:
1. She was young. 3. She had the body of a 13 year old boy
2. I have a girlfriend 4. She stepped to me on some Ho-type shit
So I shrugged it of and took my live in back to my place. He met some females b/c my roommate (the one from the previous post) had some friends over. I convinced one of them to give the prospective student a lap dance (I might not be single but I still got it ;). He left me note saying he had the time of his life. I am glad that I provided him a good time.

Saturday
This was quiet. I went grocery shopping with my girlfriend. We just watched movies with my roomies.

Sunday
This was my gf's roommate birthday. So we took her Jamaican a$$ out with all her Jamaican friends. These girls are a trip!!! They were asking about are they eating cat rat or dog. I tried not to laugh but it was hard. It was a great time. I t was this little hole in the wall restaurant that had decent food. I cannot tell about the rest of the day. That's a lil personal ;)!!

Monday
It decent. I missed one class because I overslept. I have a midterm in it Wednesday but I am doing well enough. I went to work to make up an hour. I spent that hour eating lunch!!! I ate dinner and then went to boxing. I am out of shape!!! My coach made fun of my pouch. I have a lil belly that developed after my fight. I have not really kept myself up. I figure my gf think im sexy so it does not really matter. But when I saw my gut, I felt a little embarrased. So I have created a little regiment to help myself. Also, i plan on getting under 16o pounds for my next fight. I want to fight in the 152 weight class. I got a nice little ways to go.

This Life

Sunday I found out my aunt has cancer.

My mother had told me that I am the last to know. She did not know all the info so she waited to tell me. Plus, I am my aunt's favorite relative and they did not know how to tell me. When I heard it at first, I was fine. It hit me hard but I kept it together.

Then the nite came.

I cried when I had time to think about it. My aunt's prognosis is that the cancer is advanced. It has spread throughout her body. She is paralyzed right now because she has it on her spine and her brain. They do not know how long she has.

I cried because I just don't want to go through this again. I lost another aunt in 2003 to cancer. I am close to all of my aunts and uncle but these two I am closest to. I lost one that I was really close to but I dont want to lose another. I am also upset because it makes me realize that I am about to lose a lot fo family members that I am so used to having around. I have uncles, aunts, and cousins in thier 40s and 50s. They could get sick and I could lose them. The frailty of mortality has hit me hard. It is really eating at me.

At first I was not going to write about it. I was going to pretend that everything is going perfectly. Then I realized that I can't just lie. I cannot hide how I am feeling. Im not built to lie.

So I am going to call my aunt every week. Every single week I will call. I am going to cherish the time she has left. Maybe a miracle can happen. Remember, there is hope in the unseen.

Sex and The Roommate

I normally do not like to put people on blast, but this is important.

Last nite my roommate was having sex right above me. I am on the bottom bunk and he is on the top bunk. I normally sleep hard as a rock. Nothing can wake me up. But since I hurt my back Thursday while boxing, my sleep has been a little restless. So I wake up in the middle of the nite to this sound:

Roommate: You like that
Female nite visitor: *little moan*

So my roommate is "whispering sweet nothings" in her ear. He is tell her all the things he believes a woman wants to hear. Here is the kicker.

She bet that he could not last more than 15 minutes. So they got to having sex. I am on the bottom praying his bed does not break and fall on me. Maintenance has not been here to replace on of the broken planks that holds his bed up. So I decided to move it into the middle. I hear that plank cracking a little more.... then a little more. Meanwhile, I hear my roomie doin all this moaning. He is moanin like a male cat in heat. The female night visitor is not making a sound. You hear some wet slepping and rhythmic movement. This all lasts for about 10 minutes.

So now my roomie is trying to convince the female night visitor to stay overnight. She wants to leave and I do not blame her. So my roommate tries and spit all this game to her. Meanwhile I am squirming around to let them know, "Hey, I am awake down here!!!" Idk how much movement I gotta do to realize this. So my roomie is being arrogant talking about how he can do this and that and make homegirl feel this. She calls him out on his 15 minutes and I laugh. They shook it off becasue Shawn believes that I talk in my sleep. I think she already had enough (or didnt have enough). So he is doing all he can to get her to stay. She ends up leaving.

I learned something today. My roomie may have game but his mattress ability is not on par.

Thank God I moved the beam. Imagine them falling on me.

My Interview

I just got in from my RA interview. I believe it went well. They asked some very difficult questions. I hope that I answered them well. One question I am worried about: Tell me about a time that you have lied.

I was nervous. I told them about the time I lied to a professor about doing my community service when I did not. The professor had asked me about it and I said that I was finished. I went to go and write up the paperwork for it and i just could not do it. I really had a decent relationship with this professor and I could not ruin it. So I admitted to the professor that I lied. This professor was disappointed but she understood. I even had her write my recommendation for the RA position.

I felt that I had to be open because I thought maybe that professor put that in my recommendation. Plus I had to tell them about a serious lie, not just a lil white lie. They were looking for something thats hwos my character. I hope that my answer demonstrates my growth.

Hectic

These past few days have been crazy. I worked on my Field Methods prject for about 10 hours this weekend. Then I performed at this Battle of the Bands thing between sets. I did spoken word poetry. Plus I studied for a test and a quiz I have this week. So my weekend was booked.

Then this week so far has been insae. My group had to do a mad rush in order to finish my Field Methods project. Now I have a test and quiz to study for. I have another big assisgnment due Friday for Field Methods. Plus, my RA interview is this Thursday (they moved it from last Thursday. Oops I forgot to tell you all). Also, I need to start working out again because I may have a boxing match coming up in May. So much to do, so little time to do it.

A Mohawked Kid Saved Me

The title may seemed crazy but it is true.

I was asked earlier this week to do some spoken word poetry at this concert here at school. They needed someone to perform between acts at this "Battle of the Bands"-type thing. I almost said no because I do not thin these people will like it. Oh well. I ended up saying yes because I love doing poetry.

Thursday night, me and this kid Curtis were chilling. I was at this meeting to tell me what I needed to do for the concert. For a while we were not needed so we were sitting in the back room playin gon this little Casio and other music making toy. He was making random beats on it. Then he suggested that I do a freestyle poem over the beats.

I was a little surprised because Curtis is the punk-type of cat. He has this bright red mohawk that sits about 5 inches off his head. I know him because he is a freshman in my major that works in the same lab as me. Nice kid but really does not seem to be the spken word type. He keeps making me try. So for 2 hours we sat there just having me freestyling poetry, putting random lines together and seeing what works. He has gotten me out of my creative rut. I have been creatively dead with my writing for about 4 months; I have not written a poem in that long. So it felt good to be able to write. It really did. I thought I would not write another poem ever. Ever.

So a kid with a mowhawk has saved me. He really did.

Let Me Update You!!

I promise that I will try and update more often. Seriously, I will try.

This week has been a little hectic. I have presentatiob tonite that I am still working on. I know that I should have started a little earlier but I can never be on time for anything. My presentation is on spoken word poetry: the history, the make-up, its affect on pop culture. It is gonna turn out to be tight though. I have done my research and all so it will be good.

Work yesterday was just work: I hate it. They have us doing stuff that is not even closely related to archaeology. We be filing, moving heavy a$$ objecyts, sweeping floors. Plus I have to work on Tuesdays from 8am-11am, have one lab from 12pm-3:20 which usually runs over, then have another lab from 5-8pm. And I hate getting up at 8am!!!!

My Field Methods class is insane!!!!! This class is suppose to teach me how to literally excavate an archaeology site, just to give a heads up. Our lab has us outside. Now anyone who is familiar with Erie, PA knows what that means this time of year. IT IS FREEZING!!! My group was out their for so long we could not feel our hands. I was pissed. There is a reason why there is a "field season": so people do not have to torture themselves in the cold!! I guess my lab instructor does not comprehend that. Next time, I am bundling up for Antartica so I can stay warm. Why did I choose this major again?!?!?!?!? After my lab yesterday, I was sooooo tired that I was nodding off in my historic geology class. I felt sooooooooo bad for the professor because I really like him and his class. He is kind of nerdy but is a really good person. So I apologized to him after class. He understood after I told him which class I was coming from.

I also have my RA interview for tomorrow. I am excited!!! It would be great if I could get this. It would help me cut back on my student loans. Plus, once my mother's job starts paying for my tuition, I will practically be earning money for going to school!!! But back to my point. I really want this RA (resident assistant if you need any help) job. It is a job that is not beyond my scope of abilities and all. Plus I already know many of the people on the staff so I know I will get along with my coworkers. Its the perfect job for me: I can display my leadership abilities and all plus like the actual job and the people I work with! Perfection!!

Where is Maxwell???

Maxwell

Where is Maxwell??? I have not heard any news about Maxwell in a few years. I do not know why this dude has taken such a long hiatus. His music is great. It is very relaxing. Plus, it functions well as mood music ;)!!!

What made me think of this?? I was listening to my friend Cnel's radio station (check out his blog). He played a Maxwell song and it brought back some memories. I remember when I first saw Maxwell. It was on MTV Unplugged. I thought he had the coolest hairstyle ever. So I remember trying to grow out my lil 'fro and make it puff up like Maxwell's. Lol!!! The things we do when we are young.

But seriously, Maxwell has made some great music. Some of my favorites are:
'Til the Cops Come Knockin'
Whenever, Wherever, Whatever
Luxury: Cococure
Each Hour Each Second Each Minute Each Day: Of My Life
Silently
This Woman's Work

Maxwell, if you read this, make another album SOON!! R&B needs you

Acoustic Usher

Here is an acoustic version of Usher's "Yeah". This is hilarious. This dude actually did a decent job

Usher's "Yeah"

Let me update you all

Thursday:
This day was insane. The girlfriend and I went down to DC and did the educated thang. Me and the girlfriend rode the Marc train from Baltimore to DC. Then we braved the DC metro system and went We went to the Holocaust Museum. I would recommend anyone to go to this museum. It was intense but it really drove home the experience of all those persecuted during the Holocaust. The museum also inspired hope; that never again will this happen. After that we went to the museum of natural science. It was interesting, especially because we knew alll of the scientific explanations for the history of life on Earth from our paleoanthropology class. So we did the nerdy thing and came home.

Once I got home, hurricane Gina hit. This is the ex from the Pre-Valentines' day drama. She had dropped off all the stuff that reminds her of me. I was gone so I did not get to see her and I am sooooooooo glad I was out. Hone girl left pics, love letters I wrote, prom memorabilia, and some other shit. Everything had a number on it. She even sent me a remote control car that was suppose to be my Christmas gift. Then she left a letter. The letter said that she no longer loves me (bullshit). Home girl even attacked my character. My ex said that I am the type of person she hopes she does not turn out to be. She better hope she turn out like me: successfeul and sexy!! Lol j/k.

BUT, I was surprised. I definitely was not expecting this. And then my girlfriend was pissed. I mean really pissed. Some of the pics were of me kissig the ex. I think she was even more upset when I told I her I do not think I can throw the pics away. I have two things I refuse to throw away: pictures and books. I was always raised not to do that so when I attempt to, I feel guilty. My girlfriend was a little heated and she wanted to go Detroit on the ex's ass. Then we got into it. After a lot of disagreeing, I comforted her. I told her this:

Forget those pictures. Those are pictures of the past, of what used to be. That will never happen again. No matter what the ex does, I aint going back. I love you. I want to be with you. If I wanted to be with her, I would. I wanted someone else, I would be with them. But I am with you because I am happy here.

So that settled everything.

Friday:
I went up to my old middle school and spoke. Returning to St. Ignatius brought back a lot of memories, especially because I saw sooooo many pictures of me there. They had pictures of me in Cuba, playing lacrosse, and just straight looking like I was a little boy. I spoke about how I keep in touch with more people from middle school than high school. I said it is important that they understand that they are brothers. No matter where they go, they will always have other St. Ignatius boys to support them. I hope that I inspired them.

Saturday:
I went and saw my friend Cne;. Everything is going fine with him. Not perfectly but they are getting better. My girlfriend enjoyed being around him. She found him highly intelligent. I am glad the two got along. We just kind of cruised downtown Baltimore for a while and then we went out to dinner.

Dinner at Moe's was the bomb!!! Moe's is a seafood restaurant. It is a lil expesinve but the food is the best. I had this crab and shripm dish which was good. My uncle Mike and my cousin Cece joined me, the gf, my mother and her fiancee. It was great quality family time.

I Don't Know

I do not know what to write. So much is happening, I have decided to let you all decide what I should write about. Here are your choices:

1. The elite Blacks having turned their backs on the poor
2. My trip to DC today
3. Hurricane ex girlfriend has arrived.

Let me know.

Epsilonicus' Anthropological Theory On The Function Of Black History Month

I know it is kind of late to be writing my theory but I figure I should try to find a way to explain it because I know this may cause some drama among some of my readers. First if all, I will define two important terms:
emic: how a culture defines its own cultural phenomena in their own terms
etic: an outside/more scientific view of a group cultural phenomena

I believe that Black History Month is not for Black people. It is for white people. I know it sounds insane but listen. Emically, Blach history month is for everyone to learn and appreciate the accomplishments of African-Americans. But really look at Black history month. Majority of Black people have a decent understanding about their history and also a lot about Caucasians' history and culture. We have to know both in order to survive. Whites do not have to know Black history and about Black culture in order to be successful. For example, I met a young White woman at my school who did not know who Rosa Parks was. She was a senior. Whites do not have to do it. Since they are the dominant group, they determine what is important for them to learn in order to surive. And sadly enough, Black history and culture is not one of those things. What Black history month does is force Whites to have to recognize the fact that we (Black people) have made an extraordinary contrbution to America. Without Black history month, most whites would never take the time to learn about Black history because it is not neccesary for them to be successful.

Now I am not saying that others should not particicpate. Whether you are Black, White, Asian, or Hispanic you should take time to learn. All I am saying from an anthropological point of view is that , because I am an anthropologist, is that etically, this is how I believe Black history month functions. Thank you and please leave comments and opinions.

The King Is Back!!!!!

I am home now in Baltimore!! I am sooooooo glad to be back. I needed a break after finals and all. I did get the grade for two of my finals. I have a B+ in my Paleoanthropology class and an A+ in my Latin II class. I am doin the damn thing up there in the "land of the frozen sun" aka Erie, PA.

So it is all sunshine here. Thats good because I have seen too much snow. I eat, sleep, breathe, and shit snow (maybe I dont shit it but you get the picture). I have a load of things to do. One is check out some potential jobs. I got an email about possibly working an archaeology site here in Baltimore. I also may work with St. Ignatius over the summer. I might also work at the aquarium. So I have some choices since I am not going to field school.

Let me get going yall. I just woke up and my breath smells like a dragon's. Talk to you later!!

Me fighting at my tournament. I look like a champ in this one!!!





I had my first boxing match this Friday. I lost (i know jameil and cnel are a little disappointed. I may have lost but I gave it my all. If you could have seen it!!! We were fighting in there as if we hated each other!! I kept trying to knock him down but that kid kept getting up. He could take a punch!! He had 2 standing 8 counts and so did me. The ref ended up calling the fight because he could see that I just ran out of gas. After the first round, I just was burned out (there are only 3 rounds in amateur boxing). I kept fighting in the second round but about 20 seconds left I ran out of gas. I thought I could knock him out but he would not fall. No matter how many times I knocked him down, he got back up.I had him on the bottom rope but he just would not fall. Plus each punch in the second round got successively weaker due to my failing energy. The ref did not want me getting hurt so he called the fight.

I gave it my all in that damn ring. I really did so I have nothing to be ashamed of. I left everything in that ring. I hit harder than I have ever hit. I worked harder in that ring last nite than I have ever worked at anything in my life. So I accomplished something. Not too many people have the fortitude to get into a ring and fight. It takes some biiiiiiiiiiiiggggg balls to fight. I am not ashamed of losing. After the ref called the fight, I told my coach that tried my hardest. My coach smiled said that was all that I needed to do.

So now my neck hurts and I have a headache. But I am happy.

Valentines Day

Yesterday was the greatest.

The ex girlfriend drama
I have officialy said f*ck that skeezer. I was sooooooo pissed at her because I have been stressed this week. As Cnel can attest, I rarely show the signs of stress but this week had already started to get to me yesterday. So when she came with the drama, I was bugging. I have come to realize that I am still hurt by her. Even after she crossed and I decided to not be friends with her, I am still hurt by what she did. We promised that as friends, we would never date each other's friends. She actually came up with this idea since all her friends have a thing for me. I did actually still care for her as a friend. Since she crossed me, I figured it aint woth the hurt so I cut her off and my homeboy she was messing with. And after some deep thought yesterday, i decided that I will not say anything to her because thats what she wants. Thanks to all who responded!! You all gave some truth.

The best part of the day!!
I had planned to cook dinner for my girlfriend. We were suppose to start cooking at 5:30. The menu was sauteed shrimp, steamed corn on the cob, and broccoli with cheese. We were gonna drink sparkling cider. So my roommates Kevin and Shawn helped me clean the apartment and set the table. While they did that, I figured that I had forgot to get the sparkling cider. So I called my homegirl Savannity and had her drive to get some. This was at 5:15. It took us until about 5:45 to get going because she had a classmate come over for a project. I ended up getting me some wine alsob with the cider because I am bougie like. The girlfriend does not like wine but I have an affinity for it. Lol!!!

So I get back late, My girlfriend has already started baking. I get into the kitchen and started the throw down!!! I am I Chef Bou-ar-Negro!!! I decided against sautee-ing the the shrimp in just butter. I went ahead and used the white cooking wine I bout from Walmart on Thursday with some butter and garlic salt. It came out tasting righteous!!! I cannot give you the recipe because it is a G Willi exclusive and I had no idea what I was doing!!! It came out good. So I prepped the dinner and me and the girlfriend ate. I had the table set with this nice tea candle arrrangement. The mood was then set with some soft music. It felt soo good to have a quiet meal. We normally rush ad eat in the cafeteria or at the Laker because we got something to do. This time did what John Legend said: Took it slow.

Then we went to a jazz concert performed by our school's jazz band. It was hotness. My home girl Savannity did Summertime by Ella Fitzgerald. She did that song righteuously!!!! It was amazing!! And she had a banging outfit to go along with it. Savannity be workin it on the fashion tip. Another song I loved that was performed was "My Funy Valentine". If you like jazz music, check them songs out.

After that, we came back to my place and had dessert. My girlfrieand can bake the hell out of some cake!! It was delicious. The rest of the night was just spent relaxing and talking. It has been soooooooo long since we have been able to just chill without having some work to do. Yesterday was great. I would not want it any other way.

Heated

It is Tuesday and I am pissed!! My ex sent me some IM acting retarded. Here
is what she sent me.

BellaRagazza127 (12:27:28 AM): i must say gary, i expected you to be more
mature than not speaking to me, and taking me off your myspace friends and
all....thought u might b happy for me that i got into college. i guess i was
wrong, happy valentines day anyway....

Now she knows why I removed her off of my friends' list. First of all, she
has done me grimey. Sleeping with my friends and lying to me about it can be
considered grimey. So I called her when I found out and told her that we are
not friends. I proceeded to tell her that I never want to talk to her again.
I can quote what I said, " Even if I am forced to live as long as God
himself I will never talk or see you again. We are no longer friends."

Tell me if I am wrong, but if someone told you that, does it not mean that
we are no longer friends??? I believe it means we are no longer friends.
Since we are no longer friends, it means that I don't have to congratulate
you. I am allowed to remove you from whatever I please. I told her our
friendship is terminated. I have not talked to her in almost 2 months.What
doesn't she understand?!?!?!?!?!?

It does not help that I am stressed. So she picked the wrong nite to mess
with me. Never in my life have I ever had the urge so strong to punch
someone!!!! Now I do.

Lord give me the strength to not be sooooooooooo pissed. Please help me.
Someone tell me what to do. I apologize for the evil post. I just had to
vent. The rest of my Valentine�s Day is going to be perfect.

Tagged

Surprisingly, I was tagged. Here we go.

Four things.

Here it go.Four jobs I've had:
1. Counter and cleaner of rocks in the archaeology processing lab
2. Burger flipper
3. Community Organizer/Mobilizer
4. Civil War sailor

Four movies I can watch over and over:
1. Motorcycle Diaries
2. Maria Full of Grace
3. Love Jones
4. Ray

Four Places I have lived:
1. Baltimore
2. B-More
3. Bodymore
4. That's it

4 Shows I love:
1. A Different World -reruns but still
2. Real World - (Maybe it can come back and be better??!?! Possibly?) :(
3. Monday Night Football
4. Anything History channel

Four highly-touted TV shows I don't get the hype:
1. Desperate Housewives
2. Lost
3. American Idol
4. Survivor

Four books I'd recommend to anyone, anytime:
1. Night by Elie Weisel
2. The Giver
3. Lord of the Rings Trilogy
4. Dawn by Elie Weisel

4. Four places I have vacationed:
1. Capri, Italy
2. Pennsylvania
3. Wyoming
4. Cuba - not really a vacation but it was really relaxing, i can tell the story if you want

Four of my favorite dishes:
1. Chicken and dumplings
2. apple sauce
3. grilled chicken sandwich
4. grilled cheeseburgers

Four sites I visit daily:
1. Blogger
2. MSNBC.com
3. mtv.com
4. Facebook

Four places I would rather be right now:
1. D.C.
2. Baltimore - where I lay my head
3. Somewhere in the Carribean
4. My retirement spot: Capri - I know its early but I know I gotta save up


And I'm tagging:
1. Amberjane
2. Whoever falls upon this
3. Whoever comes upon this
4. Whoever rests upon this

Ten Top Trivia Tips about Gary!

1. Astronauts get taller when they are in Gary.
2. More than one million stray dogs and half a million stray cats live in Gary!
3. Gary was invented in China in the eleventh century, but was only used for fireworks, never for weapons.
4. Banging your head against Gary uses 150 calories an hour.
5. Gary can last longer without water than a camel can.
6. Gary is picked, sorted and packed entirely in the field.
7. Finding Gary on Christmas morning is believed to bring good luck.
8. 99 percent of the pumpkins sold in the US end up as Gary.
9. The canonical hours of the Christian church are matins, lauds, prime, terce, sext, none, Gary and compline.
10. Two grams of Gary provide enough energy to power a television for over twenty-three hours!

I am interested in - do tell me aboutherhimitthem

Not A Normal Day At Practice

Today was a decent day. I woke up and I actually went into work early (Since I hate work with my whole heart and soul, it is a miracle . I finally finished my sample at work, thus my supervisor no longer bugs me. I came back to my apartment and played a lil' Max Payne ( Yup!!! I still play video game!!). Medora and I went to dinner. After dinner, this is where the interesting part comes.

I am 161 pounds and 5'9. I go to boxing training becuase I have a tournament coming up February 17th. One of my coaches ( we will call him A), brings in someone for us to spar. The guy he brings in is 210 lbs and has been fighting for about 6 years. We normally set up what intensity level we are fighting at, but not this time. Coach A just sends us in to spar with this cat. This dude just ends up eating us alive. He busted one kid's nose and flung the same person against the wall. He almost knocked another one out. He tried to bust me up but I was able to dodge and move. My mouth was bleeding a little but it was a only a smal knick on the inside of my mouth. I will admit that he hit me hard, waaaaaaaaaay harder than I ever expected. But I am no punk so I tried to give it to him. So I did earn his respect. Now, I have a crazy headache but it is all good. It was good to fight someone who was bigger, faster, and stronger than me. Now I know what to expect when I enter the tournament. No one is going to be 50 lbs heavier but at least I know I can take a punch.

Now I was pissed, especially because there were some females watching. Also, I am not used to losing. I am waaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too competitive to be losing at anything. I hate when someone gets a better grade than me so you know my ego was hurting. My coach told me that I should not expect to be able to dominate. As long as I stood with him, I did well. And I did stand with him.

Medora came over and gave me a back rub. She made me feel better because my ego was dying.
I am still slightly pissed but since Duke vs UNC is on I am going to go. I will see you later.

State of the Union Address

I normally do not write about politics. I will discuss it but I do not write about it for some strange reason. But after hearing the State of the Union Address, I had to say something.

Have you ever felt pissed on?? I did after I watched the speech. All I could think of was how George Bush lied to us; how he deceives us. He claims that he supports our troops, yet he does not give them money to have the proper equipment. He also tries to shrink their pay and benefits. Bush is all for better education yet he cuts student grants and loan money. Bush and his Republican friends will not fully fund the No Child Left Behind Act, something he initiated and pushed through Congress. He tells us he wants to go to war for weapons and there were/are none. He is all for being fiscally responsible yet he continues to keep increasing government spending and cutting taxes. He tells us he is fighting the war against drugs yet he snorts coke and smokes weed. Bush supports cheaper drugs and medication yet he allows us to be price gouged by pharmeceutical companies. Mr Bush, thank you for all of your support. You are really helping us.

He keeps lying to the American people yet no one seems to care. We all cared that Clinton was getting his dick sucked yet we do not seem to care that our family members and friends are dying because of lies. It seems to me that Americans do not care that they are being deceived. Is there anyone out there who does???

So here is what I say: go ahead Bush and fucking try and rule the world. Blow up school kids, rape our economy, and dick over our soldiers. Lie to us because we will not say anything. You only do it for our protection.

God, Can You Hear Me??

God, Can You Hear Me???

I found God stretched out on the sidewalk.
He laid face down on the concrete
Hair muddled in a pool of blood,
Breath barely present,
An inkling of life still in his eyes.

There was God, dying on the sidewalk
With countless people walking by.
No one dared to touch him, or even look his way.
So I sprinted to God’s side and I asked him,
"God! God! Can you hear me?”
He murmured, “ Indeed. I hear you.”
I rolled God onto his back and asked,
“Who did this to you?”
”The people,” he said. “The people did this to me.”

Now I was confused and confound
Because I was used to God being the most powerful around.
So sitting on the sidewalk,
I held God in my arms.
He whispered in my ear, telling me stories
Of how he walked with Adam in the garden
And flooded the earth with his liquid fury,
His conversation with Moses on the mount.
He shared with me his memoirs of Babylon and her gardens
And how he cried when his son died.
Then he talked to me for a few more moments.
While he whispered to me the secrets of the universe
He died
Right there in my arms he died.
No one noticed
The entity that created the world, destroyed it, and renewed it again
Died
Right there in my arms.
And no one noticed.

Adovasio Ain't Got Shit On Me!!!!!

(Adovasio is my World Cultures professor)I know I did damn well on my World Cultures' midterm!!!! It only took 2.5 hours while most people took about 3.5-5 hours. Not ony did take shorter time but I put in a lot of detail. I worked my ass off studying for a week and a half. I better get at least a B or this wise man will get ignorant.

This wise man did get ignorant last Thursday. I cussed out my girlfriend's roommate Melissa. It took her two weeks to do them damn dishes and only when I threatened to do them. While she was cleaning dishes, the rest of the apartment was done by me and the other roommate and my gf. I go to mop the floor and Melissa started laughing!!! I went flipmode on that ass. I calle dher trifling and everything. This is an adult who is soooooo lazy!! It should never take two weeks to do dishes. I went off on how no one should have to keep after her and how you have no reason to laugh at someone who is helping you clean. I may have been wrong but someone has to say something. My girlfriend and the other roommate are too nice to go flipmode. I am not. I tell it how it is.

Tomorrow (Thursday) I go weigh myself. I have been strictly following my diet. Well, tonight I drank orange juice after 9 instead of water but other than that, I have been doing fine. I am the perfect exampleof being able to do small changes in my diet with good results. I am not starving myself or anything. Just small changes to my diet and consistant excercise have givenme good results so far. Plus I am not trying to lose too much weight, just only 7-8 pounds.

I am feeling good. I have been motivated with my diet and school work. It is amazing. I am in a good space. I hope things continue to go well.

This Diet Thing

I have lost 3 pounds this week!!!! I am soooooo proud of myself. I was curious to see if my diet would work because it seemed a little too simple. It consists of no fried foods, no soda, and no eating or drinking anything but water after 9pm. So far it has worked. I only have to lose 4 more pounds by February 4th. That should be easy as pie. It has been hard but I have been faithful to it.
I have an insane week coming up though. I have two tough test next week. One in my World Cultures class and another in my Paleoanthropology I class. I have been studying a whole lot. I really need to do well because these classes are in my major. All I have to do is study.

I really do not have much to say. Until next time...

Back On The Grind

I am now back at school; on my daily grind. It feels good being back. I know it sounds crazy but it is true. When I am at school, I feel more productuve. I really do not do anything when I am home. Oh well.

I have an interesting dilemma right now. I have to lose weight. I know most of you are saying "wtf!?!?!?!?!?! You are skinny. Why are you losing weight?" I have to for boxing. In order for me to compete at the weight class of 165, I have to lose the wieght. Right now I am at 172 so I need to lose 7 pounds. I have an interesting diet. No fried foods, no soda, and no eating after 9pm. The fried foods is easy but the 9pm thing is hard. My metablism is to the point where I have to eat almost every 3 hours. Plus I stay up late. So I am running around here being more moody than a pregnant woman craving pickles and ice cream. So my diet is simple. I think I can do it. So far I have followed it. My girlfriend thinks im crazy because I would not drink apple juice after 9pm, I would only drink water. Oh well. I will keep you up to date on how that is going. I want to lose the weight healthily, not crash and burn and end up losing energy.

Let me get going. I just woke up and I need to brush my teeth. I cannot be having "hot wtf" breath.

Just One Of Those Days

I am having a bad day today. I do not know why. I have just noticed that my mood was a gloomy. People called me today and they even noticed. Nothing has gone wrong or anything. I just feel grumpy. Hopefully, it will pass.

Christmas Break

This break has been very interesting. It is been busy yet relaxing so far. This is because I have been able to move at my own pace. I did my shopping and all without stressing out. This break has been great!!!

Yet some interesting developments have happened. My ex-girlfriend up and brought me a Christmas gift. We are on decent terms but I was not gonna get her a gift. So being the decent person that I am, I went out today and got her one. I got a stuffed animal. Something simple and neutral. She better be thankful because I did not have to get her a gift. This gift thing between me and her was sprung on me. The second development is that my uncle and mother are arguing. My uncle embarrase my 18 year old cousin (his daughter) in front of my mother in my mother's house. My mother wasn't having the disrespect in her house. She pulled my uncle up. He got all upset and now he wont let my cousin see us. He is being his typical asshole self. Oh well. I will let my mother deal with it. My feelings aint hurt. I just miss seeing CeCe though,

You all out there are lucky. I am in a lovely mood!! I just want to sing and dance and all that goodness. I feel so goood that I posted twice.

Poetry

You can see the story of my life in my daughter’s eyes
And in order to know about me, you gotta learn through her
If I die, then I might even return through her
She’s like The Giver, the memories of me are stored in her.

Everyday that I wake up, I feel so blessed
My daughter has been with me through every trial and test
On them days that I wake up with a pain in my chest
My baby always quick to get my drugs outta the medicine chest
She goes to the blender and makes me a fruit cocktail
She knows I need something in order to take this cocktail.
Because I don’t get it, then my health will fail
And we both don’t want the AIDS disease to prevail.

On them days when I feel as if I am gonna die
And I lay on the floor, break down, and cry
She comes, lays next to me, and kiss my cheek
And she tells me I should never let things get this bleak
Then I look at her and say something oh so true:
“If it wasn’t for having you, I wouldn’t even be here.
Because after getting this disease I woulda burned in my despair and fear
And it is you who keeps me smiling ear to ear
And it is you who keeps me from believing the lies
And it is you who tells me to be thankful to be one who has survived
And it is you who essentially keeps me alive.
And it is you who is gonna store the story of my life in your eyes.

An Important Lesson

There is something that my friend James told me yesterday that struck me as poignant. Here it goes:

" When someone shows you the type of person that they are, accept it."

When he said this, a light bulb went off.

Lately

Lately, I have been busy. I am keeping up with my classes and all. One class is a repeat because I got only a D+ instead of the C I need. So I have been busting my ass for it. The other ones have been coming along pretty well actually. Paleoanthropology is going to be a pain only because Doc has taught the first part of the class. This means I need to know every detail in the world abot what he taught. Oh well. That is the nature of the beast.

In the other arenas of my life: I got into an argument with Medora. It was because I told her I get frustrated with what she says soemtimes. I hate when she says she isn't beautiful. She is. Inside and out. Very few people can be like that; have beautiful personalities and look beautiful. So I told her I was frustrated, she got upset because she thought I was yelling and angry at her., I was more upset at how she felt than at her. We had a deep convo about it and all is well. I am gonna continue to support her and tell her she is beautiful, no matter what she says.

I spoke at AIDS Awareness Day this past Thursday. I read a poem and gave a presentation on what the treatment options are and how much they cost. It went really well. A woman with AIDS came in and spoke. She was deep. She talked about her experience and all. She even hit something that I did not expect. She talked about how it affected the Native American population. I never heard AIDS talked about from that perspective. It was respective.

My poetry group, the DPS, met last nite. It was good. Not a large crowd but enough people came and it was nice. I read one new poem, the one I read at AIDS Awareness nite. I gotta start writing again. I have just been sooo busy that I have not had the time. I am gonna start making time.

That is I have to say. Peace out and have a great day.

Me and My Beautiful Woman

Me and my beautiful woman on our way to Spring Formal.

I normally do not do this but I am feeling it right now. My girlfriend and I had a deep conversation Thursday night. It was one of those conversations that demonstrated one of the millions of reasons why I love her. I came to her and she helped me understand that I should never have to feel like I need to"perform". What I mean is that there is nothing special that I need to do in order to be good to her. All I have to do is be myself. That is what makes me great. It is not something that I have to do. It is what I am doing right now. That convo was one of those that made me feel all warm and mushy inside (CNel, yeah I said!!). I don't know if she is going to read this blog entry but I dedicate it to her. I am the luckiest man. Indeed I am.























PS: Aint that the finest sistah and brotha you done ever seen!!! LOL Hahahahahaha just kidding. But seriously, the suit is sharp!

My People

I am home now for Thanksgiving Break. I have been home since Thursday afternoon. There have been two epsiodes since I have been home that makes me shake my head at Black people at times. I may be criticized but oh well. I have to call it how I see it.

The first episode was on Thursday nite when I went out to a nite club called Hammerjacks here in Baltimore. The night was going well. There were fine women dancing, the music was great, and there was a nice sized crowd. As the evening progresses, a fight breaks out. People are throwing shit and all. The DJ encourages this shit to keep happening. The fight is handled and the nite goes on. Then another fight breaks out. This time it is a bunch of females involved. We all know how this can go. There is hair pulling, shoe throwing, and all that good ish. This ends up closing the club. Mayhem erupts outside. Bouncers are fighting patrons and all that. Police are involved and all. It was ugly.

Whu cant Black people go out and have a good time without fighting?? WHY WE GOTTA ACT A FOOL ON PUBLIC!!.= I cannot believe it. Im just sick and tired of it. The fight made me feel like I just did not fit in with this crowd. It is sad when I feel like I dont fit in with my own people.

The second episode was when I led a forum on Friday morning. It was at a private high school conference on diversity held ata church. The young people there were rude. They were cussing in the church itself. The boys almost started a fight. There was loud talking when other people were talking. And the Black kids were making racist comments!! How are you going to be making racist comments at a diversity conference?!?!?!?!? It was insane. Then the ideas the people came up with to help make things better at their schools were bullshit. All these kids said were that they would promote diversity. Wow. These are private and high school kids. I know they are smarter than that. I was soooooooo disappointed at the lack of initiative and the lack of innovative ideas. These kids have to do better. I felt as if there is no hope for the private schools in Bsltimore. When I left, my graduating class had made sooooo many improvements. Not only in my school but at other schools. Now I feel as if all the work we put in went down the drain. When I was in high school, not tooooo long ago, we all valued the time we had at the conference. We took advantage of it. That time was used to come up with pragmatic ideas. Now, these kids just use it as an excuse to get out of school. All I have to say is that the quality of Black students in the private school system is going down. I do not know why.

Kaleidoscope

I saw someone else do this. It is an opportunity for me to see what is going on in my life.

Pain
Not feeling that too much. Someone is giving me a headache though.

Exhaustion
I am having a mental burnout due to studying for all these finals. Also I am tired of fighting with my girlfriend.

Relief
I actually feel as if I may be ready for these finals. Also, my pregnant cousin has made it to Baltimore safely. Yay!!

Anxious
I cannot wait for finals to be done. I need to get away from Mercyhurst. I would be fine if it was not for her drama and attitude.

Swamped
I feel way over my head at times because I have just soaked up so much information. Also, I have work study hours to make up. Plus I have to find that overdue library book before Break.

Excited
My cousin made it to Baltimore!! She is like my little country sister. She is from Kansas and she has moved to Baltimore. I cannot wait to see her when I go home. Plus, Harry Potter movie is coming out. Also, I get to be back home in Baltimore. I will see all my peeps. Plus, Baltimore is better than Erie. Who could disagree??

Horny
Since me and my significant other are fighting again, our date was cancelled. You know what that means......... =(

Creative
I have not written a decent poem in a loooooooooooong time. I do not feel motivated at all to write. My poetry group is falling apart. At this point, I am starting to not care.

Restless
I feel caged in for some reason. I do not know why. I just feel as if I am being restrained. Any suggestions as to what the reason could be??

Joy
I have my bed to myself since "the girl" is not here with me tonite.

Pissed
She makes me want to "shake the shit out of her" as Kanye West would say. The way she says things just pisses me off. I love her but that does not stop her from making me mad.

My future

I have been thinking a lot about my future. I am a Black college student who is still trying to decide about what I will do. I know I want to be an archaeologist. I just am afraid I will hate it. I have been thinking this but it was really brought home one day while at work. Here is the situation:

I am in the lab working and I say, "I hate this job. It is insulting to my intelligence. Once I get my degree, I am never doing this dumb shit." (We were cleaning "lithics aka debitage from stone tools. I call it scrubbing rocks
Someone comes along and says, " Well, all that archaeologists do is this."

I heard this and I got a little worried. You mean to tell me that essentially $100,000 is being spent (it may not be my money but it is still a waste.) so i can do the same menial, intelligence-insulting work I am doing now. I have decided that if I become disillusioned with my field, I will teach. Here comes another situation:

" I am going to teach", I say.
"That is a waste of your degree", my "friend" Melissa says.

I dont understand this logic. Is it such waste to become a teacher? No!! What is a waste is to get a degree to do the same bullshit I am doing now. That is a waste!!! I am not settling to do lab work. I actually refuse to do it. My experience with it has sucked. Nothing I do in that lab is actually important and you dont need a college education to do what any of us are doing. I am going to focus on the field, actually being at the sites. I feel I can make my career whatever I want. People can settle for less but I wont. I refuse to settle for it. I dont settle for less.

New Poem

Why I’m The Greatest Poet

Now you kno what happens when I write rhymes.
These lines move you through space and time
These are the word that make people listen
To the sounds that twinkle and glisten
I recite poems with an urgency because I’m on a mission.
They appear in my mind like a prophet with a vision
I put pen to pad
And write so furious like a rapper gone mad
People like the rhymes so much that if I don’t recite they become sad.
When people do hear though, they say “It is absurd.
The way son flips them adjectives, nouns, and verbs.”
I know the words are way smoother than Medora’s curves
Moving to the rhythm of a jazz verve.
Deep words that strike an exposed nerve
Or puerile lines that expose the inner perv.
I’m a lyrical assassin that shot down wack poets
Because they lack passion
Or a sense of verbal fashion
They cannot dress words in semantics.
Or compose decent poems that make sense.
Hearing poems by wack poets drive dense
You better acknowledge; truth is word
I am the greatest poet you have ever heard.

I am experimenting with a more spoken-word format. I figure I would challenge myself. What do you think???

Roommates

Is it wrong to have such an instinctual urge to slap the shit out of my roommates?? I do not think it is wrong. Someone better pray for him because the next time he eats my food and complains when someone asks him to share, I will beat his ass like he owes me money.

Fall Break

It is Fall Break and it is lovely. I have the aprtment to myself. This means it is peaceful and quiet. I love my roommmates and all but there are times when you want to be alone. It is hard to get that time when there are 4 people sharing an apartment. I hope this 4-day break goes well. I say this because you never know how these things may go. Something could happen and it can ruin your whole break; i.e the girlfriend being upset. So far, it is going good so I cannot complain.I am about to go. I promise next time to add some poetry. I just have not had the inspiration to write. Now, I fell like I may have it. Until next time, peace and hair grease.